Isaiah has had a rash on his face for about 8 weeks. Before you start to judge, let me say, we have been to 2 doctors, had 2 different creams, and went on an allergy med that wrecks our lives. So there. The rash will seem to go away, but when the round of medicine is gone, it comes back. We prayed for it last night and with a heart FULL of faith, I went to bed. Nope, not gone, still there. WHY ?? Anyone know ?

                   We are going to another dr. tomorrow, but tonight I will bring him to prayer. I am STILL FULL of faith. Odd, but true.

 I count this day a success, I am full of faith instead of being full of fear. The enemy has been defeated.

I am 35 !! I don’t feel 35, but I am !! In honor of that, I went and got my gray hairs covered. We are in the house and its coming along. For some reason, I rush to decorate as if there is a hidden camera on me. So, if you are watching me on some british reality show….”hello!”

                           sitting here for hours, looking for you

                           teaching my little boy to tie his shoe

                            what are the chances, what are the odds

                            that YOU are looking for me too ?

                        waiting, anticipating…think I hear you saying

                           ” lover, its our song their playing. come away with me”

Thank you Daddy, it was a lovely gift.

Yes. We are moving AGAIN. But this time its only to next door. Literally, the next house over. My husband and his brother developed our whole neighborhood, and needless to say, we’ve been sitting on beautiful, empty, expensive houses for a long time. Long story short, a faithful employee needs a home and so she is going to rent ours and we will move into the one next door. Its beautiful and the kids love it…however, I am feeling a bit stretched thin. It takes a lot of energy to fly by the seat of your pants. We have moved so many times in the past 2 years, its humorous, well…maybe not. I am tired of being a nomad, I want to feel settled.

         Through it all, I have found home and I have found rest in the Lord. He always knows where I am….even if I don’t know the zip code.

13 years ago today….Thomas and I got married, and began the comedy of errors that has been our life. If I had to describe our marriage in a word it would be…..wasabi. Its a hot and spicy kind of love.After all this time, you are still my favorite mistake honey. I love you.

If you had the opprotunity to have a sit down, cry it out, work it out, chat with GOD…would you ? The thought of revisiting some of the choices from my past and having God, my father, put his 2 cents in, is terrifying to me. But why ? I know he loves me, I know he forgives me, I know he already knows every one of my transgressions. I guess the idea that he has hidden his face, and turned his back on my iniquities…makes me not want to remind him of those things all over again. Here’s the rub….I, me (not him), need to be reminded. And I need to be guided…some of those things are still growing in me every day, and I am still reaping the pain that they bring. I don’t walk in the fullness of my identity, not because Abba hasn’t forgiven me, but because I haven’t forgiven me.

 SOZO??? Is that how you spell it ? HERE I COME.

               barely hanging on…human flesh and dry bones

                 raise the dead in me…call me free

               call me yours, call me free…raise the dead in me, call me free

               thought I was alone, but you breathed life into me.

                I was the only one who could not see the YOU in me, my  true identity…and i am free. Whom the son sets free is free indeed !

This blog is a journal OF my journey. I write my thoughts here, I write my songs and psalms here, I give salutations and funny stories here. It is therapy in a way, an outlet to write out loud. Thats all.

We had the best of intentions. Meet up with friends at a charming bed and breakfast, do a little antique shopping, eat dinner at our favorite spot, sounds easy enough. And it would have been if Thomas had not felt like crap, but he did. He was a hot mess. He just finished 10 days of anti-biotics, in fact, but it was too late. Saturday morning, we got up, had a traditional english breaffast (dont ask), and headed out for our annual hike. We packed a feast of unusual things to eat…bread, fruit, nuts, pesto, lemon curd, and cheese, lots of cheese…and wine.

                   We were at about 6000 feet when we started the hike, needless to say, Thomas’ chest was already hurting but he did not let on. We got to our favorite spot, layed out the blankets and the food, we reconciled ourselves to the Lord, and took communion. That was the last we heard of Thomas. He layed down and fell asleep. We came back into town and went to the ER. We stayed there for the next 4 hours without ever seeing a dr. NOT GOOD.

                  Long, long story, short…..Thomas has pneumonia. He is down, way down. So you have my apologies for not writing, but I am taking care of my man. Im actually enjoying it, too. So, wash your hands people….dont forget, its the only thing that really kills germs. Wash your hands. Shalom

Why did the LORD say that we as christ followers would be persecuted ? Why would we be persecuted if, in fact, our lives don’t look any different than the rest of the worlds ? Why did he say “the way is narrow” ? Seems wide open to me. Seems like we (christians) are fat and well-fed, and we do what we please ,when we please, we watch what we please, we buy what we please, wear what we please. KEY PHRASE….what we please. WHAT PLEASES US, WHAT BRINGS US PLEASURE.

                   I guess I am tired of the sound of my voice asking God for more, more power, more of him, more help, more, more, more. When the reality is…the first place I go after a long day , when I need comfort, is my…tv. Where I can watch immorality, and I can covet things, and I can build up a powerful envy for anyone younger, richer, skinnier than me. Well,well. All that being said, I am going on a diet. I don’t want to be so fat and well fed that there is no hunger in me ! I am cutting out some of the junk. I want my spiritual man to be lean and strong, and always a little hungry. Its ok to have hunger pangs. Really, it is. It means your body is working, you are burning fuel. That is what I want…to be burning the fuel that God gives me, pouring it out, worshipping it out, giving it away. So that I can be hungry for more. If I am full of the world, I will never be hungry for the Lord. Period.

My sister almost died. 16 years ago. In the womb. Thinking back its surreal. My mother, who seemed so much older than me, at the time, was 35. I am 2 months away from being 35. She was single, had a busy career, 2 teenage daughters, and a long relationship with depression.  When she found out she was pregnant, it was the last thing she wanted. And then the kicker…the baby would be bi-racial. A fact, at the time that made my mother so ashamed and scared.

              She came to my sister and I, like a child that had done something sneaky, and broke the news. We were shocked. And then we were overjoyed ! A baby, for us to love. A new person for our family that seemed so small and insignificant in this big world. And then the the warning “don’t get excited, I don’t think I’m keeping this baby”. WHAT !!?? Was she kidding us ? It was as if she could not face the truth. The truth of life and love, the consequence of sin. She wanted to run.

                  We begged, we pleaded, we made her deals offering to take care of the baby all the time while she worked. It wasn’t working. She was sure that an abortion was the wise choice, the right choice. We were all in agony for about 2 weeks. Mom went to the abortion clinic for some kind of appointment and came home uneasy, visibly shaken. We didn’t know, but she was having second thoughts. All this time and I don’t think we prayed,even once. It just wasn’t where we were in our lives then. Looking back, I see GOD in so much of it. He was working, in spite of us.

          Anyways…my mom settled into her hot bath, just like every night. Only this time, she heard the voice of God speaking to her. He said, ” What if I decided that you were too much trouble to keep on this earth?” And at that moment, she saw the power in life and death, the power that is God’s. That did it. She now had a knowledge that God was real, that he knew her, and that no matter what…He loved her. She owed the same to her unborn baby, my sister, now almost sweet 16.

                Funny, how God brings things back. I haven’t thought about this story in years, but with the election and all, it just seems….relevant.

This is Andie with my husband, and my  mom. peace.

We are “doing” life, as they say. Trying to maintain our responsibilities and friendships while not altogether well. We have been plagued for a month now. Thomas and Isaiah have been pretty sick. They are on meds and getting better.Its not all bad…sometimes when you have a time of sickness, you realize how nice your life is when you are well. We are all looking forward to being better.

                       I have volunteered for stuff at the kids’ school, and spending a lot of time praying for the ladies retreat at crossroads, thats pretty much all thats been going on. This weekend we will put mums in our window boxes, spend time with friends outdoors, clemson game, and try to enjoy each breath and each day as it comes.

                        Each day brings more of you

                        same old story, brand new truth

                        more and more of you

                         new skins and new wine

                        you are good all the time

                        same old story, yours and mine