life and death

My sister almost died. 16 years ago. In the womb. Thinking back its surreal. My mother, who seemed so much older than me, at the time, was 35. I am 2 months away from being 35. She was single, had a busy career, 2 teenage daughters, and a long relationship with depression.  When she found out she was pregnant, it was the last thing she wanted. And then the kicker…the baby would be bi-racial. A fact, at the time that made my mother so ashamed and scared.

              She came to my sister and I, like a child that had done something sneaky, and broke the news. We were shocked. And then we were overjoyed ! A baby, for us to love. A new person for our family that seemed so small and insignificant in this big world. And then the the warning “don’t get excited, I don’t think I’m keeping this baby”. WHAT !!?? Was she kidding us ? It was as if she could not face the truth. The truth of life and love, the consequence of sin. She wanted to run.

                  We begged, we pleaded, we made her deals offering to take care of the baby all the time while she worked. It wasn’t working. She was sure that an abortion was the wise choice, the right choice. We were all in agony for about 2 weeks. Mom went to the abortion clinic for some kind of appointment and came home uneasy, visibly shaken. We didn’t know, but she was having second thoughts. All this time and I don’t think we prayed,even once. It just wasn’t where we were in our lives then. Looking back, I see GOD in so much of it. He was working, in spite of us.

          Anyways…my mom settled into her hot bath, just like every night. Only this time, she heard the voice of God speaking to her. He said, ” What if I decided that you were too much trouble to keep on this earth?” And at that moment, she saw the power in life and death, the power that is God’s. That did it. She now had a knowledge that God was real, that he knew her, and that no matter what…He loved her. She owed the same to her unborn baby, my sister, now almost sweet 16.

                Funny, how God brings things back. I haven’t thought about this story in years, but with the election and all, it just seems….relevant.

This is Andie with my husband, and my  mom. peace.

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