random,sometimes funny, sometimes not, thoughts on married life.
NO. I would not.
complain about them…yes.
beg them to stop….done that.
pinch them….. unfortunately yes.
stop the car and sit while crying silently…….afraid so people.
But I would not put them out of the car, ultimately, I am responsible for their safety, their instruction, their understanding of the rules. Basically, I am saying that if your kids are bickering so bad that you want to put them out of your car ,
onto the street…..YOU, as the mom, have to take some of the responsibility.
After months of not going, Monday, I went to prayer at church. It was so good to be back. It wasn’t a spectacular looking crowd and there was no live music. Sounds dull, right ? WRONG. The Lord was there, and when it comes right down to it, he is the only thing, the only one ,that can make things happen. He is THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. Wherever he is, thats where I want to be.
A group of women prayed together. It was simple and heartfelt and oh, how I needed it. As it turns out there have been promises made, and words spoken to these women, myself included. Promises that have yet to be realized, and we let the Lord know that we were willing ,and that we were listening. We offered ourselves up as a sacrifice of worship, no matter what that might look like in each of us. The simple can be powerful.A heart can be changed. One man can be THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. And he was.
Isaiah (I know I talk about him a lot) is the baby of four. He is disarmingly cute and loves to snuggle. He has recently started the charming new habit of screaming like an injured animal or perhaps, a wild banchee (is that a word ?) whenever he is getting reprimanded. Its as if he thinks that he can drown us out if he yells loud enough. He is 7, and I am exhausted from the fight.
I know it is a test. I feel like I have studied really hard, I feel prepared for the test…..until the screaming begins and then everything inside me says “go get in the bath, forget about it, give up, let him have his own way”. And yet, here I am…..shaken, but not broken, discouraged, but not deceived. This too shall past.
I am almost happy with this blog, I have to upload some images and get some artwork. Its coming along. Yipee !
I am lost in the blogosphere, redoing the site and unveiling the name TODAY ! Its lonely out here, and I am terrible with directions. Hope to see you all soon.
Just in case anyone is following along with my situation with Adam( my 11 year old politician/judge/adonis/breaker of my heart), yesterday I pulled strings, talked urgently and pretty much begged his principle to move him to another class for the remainder of the year. She agreed, but with one condition. She wanted to meet with Adam and hash it out. Well, when he heard that his attitude changed. He said “no mom, its only 28 more days. I can do it. I will change my attitude and be happier.”
So, at first, I felt a little foolish that I had gone to bat for this boy, embarassed that I had harassed the principle….but I got over it. Cause in the end, my allegiance is to Adam. I am his mom, his handler, his biggest fan, his warden, his cheerleader and hopefully, his teacher.
When we let t
he HolySpirit take us over, we become like a tree that bends, but will not be break. I know Adam has felt like he was being pushed to his breaking point, but the fact is, he was trying to do it on his own. We simply can’t. If I can get that lesson into that brilliant mind of his, well……the possibilities are limitless.
Ok so my husband ,aka; the butcher (more on that later) upgraded my phone to a blackberry(there are numerous reasons why), anyways, I started having these weird feelings of guilt and unworthiness ( i know, its weird ). I started hearing voices (yes, I need help) saying “why do YOU need a blackberry, who do you think YOU are, are you running an empire, or what ?!) So, I sat down and I started to think about the things I do.
take care of the 4 people that live in my house ( my children) which includes but is not limited to my motherly duties
work duties
my wifely duties
oh yeah….we have 2 dogs , too. And all 4 kids play a sport. I am tired just thinking about it, and I did not even mention helping at church (thats just how humble I am ).
SO. Don’t look at me like that when you see me out somewhere with my blackberry. Heck yeah, I am running an empire! I might even need TWO blackberries.
Sometimes the simplest things crack me up. Picture this, if you will….I am sitting in my office , at my desk doing mundane things like; muttering to myself, thinking about my blog, putting lotion on my hands, when my phone vibrates. Exciting. Its my friend ,whom I will call “freckles”. Here is what I read- ” I just tripped and when I did, I peed my pants .”
Don’t ask me why ,but the visual of this in my sick mind had me laughing for 5 minutes. hahaha…see, I am STILL laughing. so sorry “freckles”. I am laughing With you. If you are laughing, that is.
The other day I was getting dressed to go to a baby shower for my friend, Joanna. It was a big deal. And I wanted a word from the Lord for her , for Joanna(not the baby). So, I got in the bathtub(where I do my best thinking) and prayed. Well I kept hearing “deconstruct”. How weird ? I was almost sure that could not be the word for joanna, it must be for something else. Eventually, I looked it up. DECONSTRUCT: the act of breaking down into components. While I was reading the definition, the Lord said ” what does the deconstuction of a mother look like ?” Aha !! In other words, what are the components of a mother ?
Joy (aka strength)
love(never ending)
patience( (to get you through)
faith ( big enough to move a mountain)
power (to change the atmosphere)
mercy ( a new portion every day)
I realized that my friend Joanna EXEMPLIFIES these componets. And what the Lord was telling me was sometimes we have to break down what it takes to be a mother, one component at a time.
ps….it takes a village to raise a village idiot, it takes a mother to raise a child. hahaha !
This is actually the title to the book that I am reading right now. Its Brennan Manning ,and I love his voice. The book is a challenge to my spirit, mostly because I fall into these categories on a daily basis. I don’t want to, but I do.
Somewhere along the way, the imposter taught me to put my best “face” forward. I have been aware of this for a while, its not a new epiphany. I struggle with it every single day.
What I am desperate to avoid is putting my best “face”forward with GOD. I don’t want to struggle with that, I want it to come easy. I want every prayer, every song, every motion, every stand that I take, to be authentic. He knows me anyway. If I think I am fooling him, I am simply buying into what the imposter is telling me….that I am not good enough, not holy enough, that my REAL face, is not the face that Jesus saw that day on the cross, the day he looked darkness in the eye and died for me. But the truth is…it was, it was my REAL face and yours. He deserves nothing less now, every day.
The beauty is that I have been transformed, my old self is a shadow that the imposter wants me to believe is the real thing. But, its not !! I feel like I am on the verge of a break through in this area, and wanted to share. Get the book, it will make you think.
Amwirth.blog 