Author Archives: angie wirthlin

nest…. The word that keeps giving

Posted in diary of a wife by

Nest: to fit perfectly inside each other. Ex- nesting dolls. 

        Yeshua is mine, he lives on the inside of me, and fits perfectly there. I belong to him, and he carries me in his body, in his heart. I never need to thirst again. Living water is running through the canals and infrastructure of my person. I can operate from a place of contentment out of this knowing that the work is done, we fit perfectly inside each other. From that place of lotus land (paradise) I  can feather my nest, give my best, set the stage … For my children, my husband, my family and friends. Simply because the HE, the  living well , the prince of peace and provision and even patience …. Is enough. 

ADHD …. What does it look like in real life? ( or at least our life)

Posted in diary of a wife by

Every day is different,  just like every child is different.  Little lion boy, the baby of four children , was always a joy and a handful. I have spent the better part of 10 years asking myself questions and reading books. Is it his gut? His ears? Believe me when I tell you there have been prayers. And more prayers. Prayers of desperation, and prayers of hope. He is 13 now, and with no relief in sight , we sought help. Before this , I didn’t really want help. I didn’t want medication or labels. He is beautiful and bright, he is stormy and hurtful. Easily frustrated, and impulsive. Our home can become a war torn territory where everything has been shattered to bits in a matter of seconds. That’s the truth. Hear me all of you well meaning parents and friends…. It is not about discipline ! Yes, boundaries and routines are cornerstones of civilization , but in the middle of war we all become quite uncivilized . Our parental hearts are shredded, the lights in our eyes … Dimmed. We listen to our son tear down the very walls of respect we take time to build . We get mad, and at the same time…. So sad. We live, we keep on, heart beating, seasons changing. Our son has adhd, and auditory processing disorder, and a learning disability in math…. Which leads to the roaring beast that we see on a daily basis as we try to teach him. Homeschool. It has been the best for him, but I have been battered . We are rebuilding now, with new tools and new hopes. I am understanding the stimulation that his body is constantly looking for, I get it. He needs it , good or bad. If his work, his reading, his drawing, his music, his pogoing up and down the stairs are not enough stimulation , he will pick a fight… With anyone in sight.  I am armed, as I always have been , with the love of a good God. I couldn’t love my son any more than I do. I am amazed at his strength, his spirit, and his ability to love. I am on a crooked path, that God promises to make straight. I’m faithfully walking , and I’m trying to share . This is barely a glimpse. This is a beginning. Our story, unique to our family. Yours will be different. The common ground for us to stand on is love, and the courage it takes to look deep into someone and seek out answers, all the while faithfully trusting that this story is a masterpiece in progress.  

 

Nest. 

Posted in diary of a wife by

 

The word bird came into my spirit with the new year.  It made me smile. It brought my mind to a place of singing, melodies, feathers, flying, freedom, and ….nests. I clearly heard –feather your nest.  I started collecting feathers, and holding them close, like prized possessions . I even started planning changes to my house.  After all, that is my nest , right? 

             All along the way, from the new year and even before, I’ve been dealing with parenting issues.  Problems and prayers turned into pleading for breakthrough. I was and am walking out the steps God has given me.  And then tonight a friend got a word for me. Nest . Ok. Redundant much ?  Somehow there was more for me in this word. It is a timely word, and ever evolving to show me what God is speaking. She sent me the definition because she knows that language is magical to me. 

Nest- the place where birds lay eggs and take care of their young . 

I read it, and then I layed down in it, this word …nest , it covered me like a blanket.  And it was there  wrapped up , that  I heard this again  – feather your nest.  And this time I knew, it had nothing to do with my kitchen!  And everything to do with the environment around my kids.  I need to place patience and encouragement in my nest in equal measures.  And then I need to layer the atmosphere with laughter and love.  A soft place to land . The baby birds will not always be in the nest, but they are now. I will do my best to feather it with beautiful things: prayers, and tears, seashells, and river rocks, memories and stories, truth, justice, and grace that leads to kindness.  Feathering my nest, taking care of my young. 

Do not underestimate…

Posted in diary of a wife by

the power of laughter.

The value of sitting down to a meal with good friends.

The word of God.

Sunshine on your face.

A clean house.

Fresh flowers on your table. 

Peace that comes from deep down inside your spirit. 

Finding treasures big and small. 

Art… Especially if your child created it. This sketch by Isaiah leads me to the next… 

 

Encouragement …. And this is the one I want to talk about. Sitting down with a friend the other night , I opened myself up, took a chance on hearing her say- get over it, move on. It takes strength to be vulnerable , and it took strength for her to lift me up. She spoke to me in a way that breathed life into dry bones. Her encouragement was oil to my brittle places. She reminded me who I am. She gave me courage. I hope you all have a friend that encourages you. Not with empty words, but strong life giving words of power. I worship with words and I get broken, never underestimate the power of someone calling that out in you. 

Do not underestimate the power of Holy Week, the goodness goes on an on. His body and blood set aside for us. His crucifixion , love in action. His resurrection , holiness …. revealed. 

Time. 

Posted in diary of a wife by

Sometimes you find words that someone gave you from 10 years ago. Sometimes you wonder if the time will ever be right. Sometimes you hide out in the darkness, until someone turns on the light. Sometimes …. You write. I write. I sing, I pray ….I’m learning every day.  

 

Hands on our hearts, eyes on your face

    We salute you

With songs we lift you …

high on our praise

We whisper , we sing 

While you sit listening

The truth we come to

Is we are beautifully broken before you. 

Throwing back

Posted in diary of a wife by

today is about going back, even though every cell of my being is moving forward . The lord is taking me back to some hurts, and some healing. Opening my eyes…revealing. That’s just what he does! It’s his privilege to conceal things, and it’s my honor to search them out, and when the time is right.. Bam!!  April 30, 2006, ya’ll that was so long ago, the lord showed me a picture of myself, and then I felt him say- there is a scarlet letter A on your chest, and my dearest one , it stands for ADORED.  How could I have forgotten that? And yet I did. I got busy living, and I forgot that. He was kind enough to reveal it again today. There are relationships in my life that are in tough places right now, and sometimes my flesh hears that I’m undervalued, or insignificant . But get this…. My spirit heard the word… ADORED. Thankful that my spirit has bigger ears to hear him with. 

Beauty. 

Posted in diary of a wife by

  

He makes me worthy, and I don’t mean he makes me feel worthy…. I mean , HE makes it so. His affection for me, for you , is an action word. He is loving me, and that love , my friend, is affecting me. In every way, he is lifting my chin, holding me. This morning while I was still in bed with my sleep face on, I pictured my grandaughter arms lifted saying – hold you. She means hold me, of course. I did the same thing to Abba this morning. How freeing to be with someone who knows every tear that has ever fallen from my eyes. How easy to talk to someone who already knows every detail of my life. He knows where I’ve been, and who I am still becoming. He is doing a new thing this spring, and it’s making me beautiful. Bird was the word I heard for this year, and as new life is showing up all around me, there is a breaking, a hatching, and the shell is falling away. It is out of the ground that he creates, and out of the ground that hope springs. 

Sounds….

Posted in diary of a wife by

The start of this week was fast and furious, no downtime. This morning, I’m slowing it down. I’m sitting in the quiet , that is not silent and taking notes of what I hear….

  Isaiah singing…. Boys to man at the top of his lungs. 

Cars driving by on damp roads 

The voice inside my spirit reminding me how good God was to me yesterday, and raising my expectation for what today will bring. 

I’m lounging. I’m blessed to have this moment of rest . Peace like rain that springs from the deep dark soil , instead of the clouds, like in the days before the flood devoured the earth. It’s a gift , and I receive it. 

Chapters.

Posted in diary of a wife by

There are some stories or chapters in your life that you look back on with such a fondness . It seems like you can actually feel the moment, as if you were still right there. The beginning of a love story or a friendship. Sweetness , and light. Only God knows the beginning to the end , with every sunny day, or gray sky in between. He  alone is the author of our stories, the architect of the plan. I do not pretend to know what I will be doing in a year or five. I am content in this season. I am parenting , and loving. I’ve grown more this year than I have in the previous 5. This place I’m in might look like a rut from the outside, but in fact it’s just the opposite!  Time is marching on, and I’m spending what I have learning to give love. Each step I take in that direction, I get better at receiving love. And that is the journey, the adventure. It’s not a new job, or a new physical place, it’s new space in my heart. A new mirror to look into and see something that wasn’t there before. I am always changing and my GOD never  is. Chapters in my life will begin and end, they are overlapping. And I am turning the page. 

Lest I haven’t said it …

Posted in diary of a wife by

I am incredibly happy with who I am. My life is good. My stories are funny, and sometimes hard , but never without hope. I guess you could say, I’m content . I’m not running. Even when the howling of the wind keeps me up at night, and the sun is out of sight. I’m not running. When I cry  out in dismay, I know in my heart that it is all going to be okay. I’m not running. I love , I live, I fall, I get back up, I take and I give, I know what true love is. The beautiful words in Ecclesiastes that say eternity has been placed in mans heart, give me peace. It goes on to say that we don’t know the beginning or the end, but God does. I’m firmly rooted. I’m not running.