Author Archives: angie wirthlin

start with me.

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Practicing what I preach is a concept that has never come easy to me. I can clearly see what my kids need to do , and I am quick to tell them. (ask them, they will not deny it).  Adam is feeling like the Lord doesn’t speak to him, well, that’s easy son….go to HIM, draw close, and he will answer.  Isaiah feels like he is not enough, not worthy…ok then, let’s bless your spirit with the truth, the only truth…what Father says about you. Simple.  Belle is having girl problems, feeling less than, and in general friendship tribulations. What do I say ? You have to be a friend to have a friend. Be kind, don’t take their words, or lack of words personal. They don’t mean to hurt you. This advice… I don’t take, listen to, or accept.  At the ripe old age of 38,  I still am a work in process when it comes to friends.  I over analyze, I feel left out…and I withdraw. So today, I am asking. Lord- START WITH ME. Keep on giving me the wisdom to teach my kids, but start with me. Repair my heart where it is wounded, so that my words would be truth to them.  Bring change, bring understanding, and belief, start with me.

On my own almost grown girl is having nightmares.  She is haunted by the very things that she has allowed into her mind.  My advice, turn from those things, repent, start over…again, and again, you can do it every day.  She is doubtful, unbelief is all over her face.  She is no different than me when I doubt, I just happen to be more seasoned at coming back to you Lord. And so, I pray that as you start this work with me, that it would overflow into her. That faith would begin to trump doubt, that peace would reign over chaos, and most of all…that love would slap the face of fear. Start with me,  start here.

The writing was on the wall….

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            It is so true that God’s mercies are new every day ! I was so done yesterday, and after resting in the afternoon , and a few wonderful words that the Lord sent me through some beautiful friends…I am ready to finish our school year strong. I am listening to the one who created Isaiah…who better to tell me how to raise this little man ?

Natalie, when you typed the word gentle giant….you were so right on. Isaiah can spew hateful words at me at times, but the fact is, he is gentle in spirit, and things wound him easily. It is my job to see past the anger, and speak to his spirit man.Never doubt your influence, yesterday you were a shiny spot on a dark horizon. (just like HE said you were).

And as for you Mrs. Pat. your prayers are a treasure to me. I often hear people say- when I was growing up, I had someone praying for me, all the time….I am always envious when I hear that. Now I don’t have to be, I LOVE that I have you praying for me. Thank you, it means so much.

And so, with that being said…we are working. Once we are through the math, which is tedious for Isaiah, we will build a model of a pioneer log cabin. (The Lord gave me that idea). Isaiah can’t wait. Sometimes, you just have to rewrite your plan.

confessions of a mom.

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We are at the end of the school year.  There have been giant steps forward in my relationship with my youngest son. Our time homeschooling has been sweet, and incredibly frustrating at the same time.  I am feeling the pressure to get everything in , now that the year is almost done.  I know that it will be near impossible to get him to do school work when the other kids get out for summer. Problem is, it’s near impossible to get him to do it now.  Our relationship is better, HOWEVER, He is in his room now, and I am struggling to sort out my feelings of despair, and anger, love, and fear. He will not obey. Sound simple ? It’s not.  Before you start commenting on parenting skills, please understand….we have tried everything. As a parent, when you are faced with a child who simply refuses to comply with what you ask him to do…it is maddening.   Isaiah has many different ways of reacting to guidance, discipline…or simple requests. He might yell and get angry, or he might cry like his heart is breaking, or my least favorite…holding his hand over his ears, and just refusing to listen to any one’s voice.  Okay, here is where you think- maybe there is a learning problem, or an emotional problem…maybe. He is extremely social, he could play with friends all day, as long as everything goes his way, everything is ok. No exaggeration, if he is watching tv, and I say ok, time to go pick up the kids, he will flat out refuse to go if he doesn’t want to. So, at that point, I can punish him, if I can get him to listen, or I can give in. I am sorry to say that I have given in too many times to count. I confess to being exhausted. I confess to not knowing if he has a real problem, or if he is strong willed, and spoiled, I confess to reading every parenting book I can find, and believing that it will be the SOLUTION.  And I confess that today the Lord said, stop this cycle. He gave me a clear path…tell Isaiah what you expect, and what’s going to happen if he disobeyes, or refuses.  I confess my disbelief that this will work, mainly because I couldn’t get him to sit down, and listen to those words.  I confess that this child of my heart, hurts me, and I hurt him.  I confess that I am willing to do anything for him.  So Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief.

Adam.

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When Adam was eleven,  I wrote a blog post called -fine young man.  You can look it up.  I went back, and read it again today. I was terrified at his fifth  grade graduation. Proud, and terrified…so scared of the middle school years.  And today as I sat in the auditorium, at the end of the middle school years, and watched him accept, not one, but three great awards, I was reminded of my fear, and my faith, and most certainly, of my fine young man.  He is bigger now, his voice is different, and his feet are size 14, but he is still my baby. My man child. He is so sick of that term.  Soon, I will drop the child altogether.

Here is the funny thing about me (well one of them)…I started raising this boy, and I had the crazy idea that he would never spit, or swear, or lie, or…make me cry. He is a human being. Took me a while to see that. I know, it’s ridiculous. But there is freedom in love. We don’t have to be perfect in love. Love will see us through. And I LOVE him. Whats even better… He loves me.  He protects my heart the best he can.  His awards were fabulous, and he was incredibly proud of himself, but more importantly….we are so proud of the man he is becoming .  It was one of those days, where someone says…you are on track. That feels good. For Adam it was a confirmation in academics, humanity, and leadership. For me, it was a confirmation in parenting. I needed that.

Saturday morning chores….headache, or life lesson ?

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    Are Saturday chores a forgotten lesson ? Have they faded away in today’s culture, like writing letters, and thank you notes ? I think we as parents should bring them back.  I have been trying to get my kids to do Saturday morning chores as long as they have been big enough, and it is STILL like pulling teeth. I am all for playing outside with your friends, and enjoying the freedoms of childhood, what I am against are spoiled kids,  with no sense of family responsibility. Can I get an amen ? The goal is for these small people to be grown ups one day right ? It’s not about the cleaning of a room, or taking out the trash…its about self-discipline in a world where mom isn’t there picking up after you all the time. It’s about being grateful . It’s about understanding that you are part of a team…your family.  And that is my Saturday morning rant.

fumble

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    I hate it when someone tells me something , and instead of a heartfelt word of wisdom…I fumble. It really sucks. In my mind I knew you needed me to say something meanigful about you, or your mom, or life in general. I dropped the ball. So here goes, 2nd chance….

                                    She is suffering, and you are suffering. One day you will know exactly who you are. There is hope. For you, and even for her. I love you. I’m sorry that I don’t always know what to say. I’m just a girl. A girl that loves you.

Skin care routine…

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Sometimes you just need to skip the heavy stuff,  and talk about your favorite products !  That’s the mood I’m in today. My background is in cosmetics,  and although,  I love make up….skincare is my favorite.  I want to age gracefully,  but in this case ignorance is not bliss.  So, I am pretty happy with my routine,  and feel like I have seen improvements.  So, I wanted to share.

After a day in the sun (with sunblock) and fishing with my family,   I noticed a brown spot on my Imageface.  Yuck.  Say it aint so.  Yes, the years of sitting at the pool with my kids have started to catch up to me.  My skin is fair,  but olive…I tan super easy, and I damage easy.  Thus…the spot. I always wear sunblock on my face when I am going to the beach or pool,  sadly, I have not been as consistent wearing a DAILY sunscreen. That sun exposure in the car, on the playground…it adds up.  So, I am doing better.  My advice…use a very basic moisturizer with at least SPF 15 during the day,  and use a heavier treatment type cream at night. I am using the one pictured above( Nutrogena oil free spf 15).  It is basic, and non-irritating,  plus it costs twelve bucks, you cannot beat that !

However ! As I am 38 years old,  I need a little more help than a basic moisturizer can provide.  In comes my FAVORITE  ( and most expensive) product. THE SERUM. First off ,  in the last year or so,  I have noticed my pores more,  and of course,  uneven texture, and fine lines ( some not so fine).  I started researching serums.  I decided on a treatment serum rather than a cream because they are thinner, they go deeper, and you can use your daily moisurizer right over the top. The one I chose was Vissionairre  by Lancome.  There is a lot of hype about this one…I was skeptical,  so I went over to Belks,  and got myself a sample.  I have used it morning and night for 2 weeks….LOVE IT.  You can use it all over , (EYES TOO)!  This was one of the requirements I had for my serum,  my eyes really needed some love ! It has a fragrance , which really scared me at first, as I can be sensitive to that.  Still, I was determined to find something that would give me some results.  The consistency is thin, it has a slight pink tint, and it smells good.  My results have been less visible pores, and better texture !  The small bottle costs 84.00.  I know I just lost some of you.  For me, it’s worth it. Image

I have become a pro at finding drug store products that work.  My eye cream is Roc Retinol Sensitive.  The reason I chose this one, retinol creams can burn, and this one is gentle. The fact is,  Retinol is the only tried,  and tested ingredient that really reduces wrinkles !  So, I use this one at night.  During the day , I use Olay Regenerist Serum for eyes.  Yes, once

again,  a serum.  It’s light weight, and full of peptides  (which are like vitamins for your skin ).   I love it.

Image

My second FAVORITE product is one I found  , quite by accident.  I thought it was a serum  ( and lets face it, I was on a mad hunt for a serum).  It had the appearance of a serum.  A bottle with a pump,  a gel like consistency,  all the trappings of a serum,  NOPE.  It is Olay Night Resurfacing Elixer (34.00) Upon further reading, and researching, I figured out that it REPLACES your night time moisturizer.  It’s basically like a gentle glycollic  peel every night.  LOVE IT.   At first, I thought it wasnt moisturizing enough, but to my surprise, I wasn’t dry…because this little beauty was getting rid of my dead skin cells while I was SLEEPING.  You rinse your face in the morning, and then start your morning routine.  I believe this is making a difference !

There is one more thing that I use at night,  but I only put it on that pesky dark spot. One drop, each night. I think it’s fading.  There you have it. My arsenal of weapons. You should know that I have normal to dry skin.  I hope you will try some of these products,  and share your results !

Morning- Rinse, then Visionairre  serum all over, after that Olay  serum for eyes (pat along the orbital bone), after that my Nutrogenia oil-free moisturizer.

Night- cleanse face, apply Visionairre serum, all over, a dot of the Roc Retinol Sensitive  (applied to crows feet, and fine lines around the eye), and then the Olay Night Resurfacing Elixer.  One drop of spot corrector on mu sun spot.

Please feel free to ask questions.  I said I was skipping the heavy stuff, but the fact is,  as we age, our confidence can really take a plunge.  These are the products that give me confidence,  I am doing my part in the “aging gracefully” process.

Stuff happens.

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   And by stuff, you know what I mean. Friends get sick, friends move away, you don’t get invited where you want to go, you get behind in home school, you speak harshly to your 12 year old daughter, even though you know that every moment you have with her matters so much right now. You decide to give up. And then you realize you can’t give up. You are the Mom. The captain of this ship…the one that feels like it’s taking on water. Turn around, sit down…I was trying to do this alone again.

              Gently, I am reminded, I am a CO-Captain, I am not alone. And why is it so easy to forget the great stuff that happens ? My size 14 shoe wearing son still snuggles me, kisses me bye, and protects my heart the best he can on a daily basis. My 12 year old STILL runs wild and free, she is still a child. She has dirty feet, and tangled hair. She wants to sit in my lap, counter-cultural, indeed. And of course, It is ridiculous to think that in my moments of weakness, I could forget, my youngest. He comes up to me and announces – this is going to be the looonnggest kiss. Lips on mine, puppy breathe…How could the other sh%@ matter ? Because I am flesh. And when it comes right down to it, I’m just a girl. I want, and I need, I imagine, and I fall short. But I am still here. And my heart is still soft enough for the gentle nudges that come from the Lord. All I have to do is get quiet, and give in to him.

date night.

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 You wont read this until morning, by then I will be sober. I’ve been on a date night . A fabulous engagement party for my nephew, where I was neither the oldest, or the youngest. I feel like it is so important to have these moments in life. The moments where you are with people who have kids younger, and people who have kids older. The conversations are priceless. What brand of diapers are best…to praying for your kid’s future spouse. We talked about it all. Life is a guessing game, nothing is for sure with kids….it’s ok, the daily work is the good stuff . The getting to know each personality…putting the time in. A Father’s work is never done, trust me, I know. It was a good night, and a job of parenting well done…we celebrated. Tomorrow is Mother’s day, and I hope each of you is remembered and honored in a way that lets you know….your job matters, you matter…you gave life once, but now you SUSTAIN it. goodnight new mothers, and goodnight mothers with sons getting married…I love you all.