And by stuff, you know what I mean. Friends get sick, friends move away, you don’t get invited where you want to go, you get behind in home school, you speak harshly to your 12 year old daughter, even though you know that every moment you have with her matters so much right now. You decide to give up. And then you realize you can’t give up. You are the Mom. The captain of this ship…the one that feels like it’s taking on water. Turn around, sit down…I was trying to do this alone again.
Gently, I am reminded, I am a CO-Captain, I am not alone. And why is it so easy to forget the great stuff that happens ? My size 14 shoe wearing son still snuggles me, kisses me bye, and protects my heart the best he can on a daily basis. My 12 year old STILL runs wild and free, she is still a child. She has dirty feet, and tangled hair. She wants to sit in my lap, counter-cultural, indeed. And of course, It is ridiculous to think that in my moments of weakness, I could forget, my youngest. He comes up to me and announces – this is going to be the looonnggest kiss. Lips on mine, puppy breathe…How could the other sh%@ matter ? Because I am flesh. And when it comes right down to it, I’m just a girl. I want, and I need, I imagine, and I fall short. But I am still here. And my heart is still soft enough for the gentle nudges that come from the Lord. All I have to do is get quiet, and give in to him.