It was such a pleasant surprise to LOVE all the women who were at my Lia Sophia show last night. I walked away, at midnight, feeling appreciated… for who I am, respected… for going into this business venture, loved on… and generally filled up with….peace.  Yep. It was time well spent. I talked and talked, and it was okay. I talked until I saw recognition in the faces of the women, recognition that we are all in this boat together. And we can sink, or we can swim. I am swimming, thanks to the love of a good man, and a good PAPA. I shared that, and I saw hearts start to open up. That’s all I want. To praise you Lord, to see light in women’s eyes, to bring daughters closer to the FATHER. Thats all I want. I think I caught a glimpse of it last night.  We are all one people, one tribe.

   YOU have allured me, and spoken comfort to my spirit, where it hides. You hold out your hand to me, and in it,  I find HOPE, like a gift. You have called me in faithfulness, again and again. I will answer you. I am yours and I belong to you.

                       Wrote this right before I went to bed, slept like a baby. Earthly circumstances aside….in my heart, I hold forever…no time, no worries….no foes. What else do I need ? Whenever I start to get wrapped up, and wound up, in what TODAY looks like, HE woos me back to him, in that way, that is special to only me and HIM. And he reminds me that I hold FOREVER in my heart…..not to worry about today. He will make a way.

  I wanted children. I prayed for children. I longed for children. My soul actually panted for them….My children are driving me crazy right now. The phases they are in, the phase that I am in….whew. We are in the thick of it. Thats ok. It’s ok for me to say that they are driving me crazy. Its OK, to realize that just because my dreams came true, and I became a mother…doesn’t mean I became MOTHER THERESA. Ok people ? Its ok. I love their socks off, even when they drive me crazy. Gonna be a good day, because it’s…ok.

I enjoy the thought of being part of a tribe of women. My mom, amd my sisters, and I….we are like that. We travel in packs to each others houses, and we laugh, we laugh so much. Its a bond that has been made stronger by the births of children, and the suffering, and loving that goes along with that. We are only on the EDGE of understanding what it means to be a ……tribe. We were born for this. I don’t think we are supposed to be singular in our trials, and triumphs. Nor, do I think that we should shut ourselves up in our houses, in our neighborhoods, and try to do every single thing on our own. I believe that God intended for us to be in tribes, they may not look like the tribes of old, but they are tribes. I am happiest when I am surrounded by women who know, and love me. Women whose wisdom, makes me smarter, and whose joy makes me dance. goodnight.

Terribly sorry for the lapse in communication. Between our anniverssary, Halloween, and my birthday….been a little overwhelmed ! Oh yeah, and LIA SOPHIA !!! I am off to a party tonight. I do enjoy getting paid to party. I promise a blog this weekend, will get you all caught up on the comings and goings of the Wirthlin house !!

  Fat gray clouds rolling through my mind, just like waves in a stormy sky.

        I asked you to stay, you simply….waved goodbye.

thats not fair, I yelled, I stomped my feet, and cried. No explanation. broken pride.

       Its still a ways away, but I can see the sun. It’s breaking out……freedom won.

  Gonna be alright, gonna be okay, I am gonna stand up tomorrow, looking over my shoulder sheepishly, at today.

Soccer has ended. I just have to say, it was so much fun for me to watch the kids. Adam was a rock star, of course, and Isabelle was like a little sports diva, (always laughing, and looking around as if to say…are ya’ll looking at little ole me ?). But Isaiah was the biggest surprise. He gave it his all, and enjoyed every minute of. He made friends with all the boys on the team, and really bonded with the coach. It was awesome to see him come out of his shell !

                   Now, we move into the next season of life….holiday season ! LOVE IT. Love everything about it, even the stress. Our yearly trip to Brevard ,with our best friends ,kicks off holiday season as far as I am concerned . I think I have written about it before, but if you will indulge me(or even if you don’t), I will do it again.

                  We spend friday walking around Brevard, we go into antique shops, we really take our time with each other, and just enjoy. We have lunch, outside, if its warm enough, we are very LEISURELY about the whole thing. We stay at a lovely bed and breakfast (where we try to take over) ! On Saturday, we start with breakfast together, and then a trip to the local grocery store, which is an adventure, all on its own. We buy the makings of a feast. Bread and wine, for communion (which MUST be taken on the mountain, overlooking creation), then pesto and cheese, apples, and chocolate. Really fabulous. And then we head up the parkway to the most beautiful hiking spot ! We hike, we pray, we sit and bask in the weather, whatever that may be, and we…love. For the past few years, one of my best friends has not been well, and this trip has not been easy for her, but this year…..oh this year, she has been recovering, and thriving, and we have every intention of hiking all the way to the top of that mountain, and thanking the LORD for all of our blessings, big and small. A nap is usually in order, after the hike, and then we will go out to dinner that night, and love on each other. Yes, its an anniversary celebration, but equally, a celebration of friends that are like family. I can’t wait. We say goodbye on Sunday, with tears, and we come back to reality with our hearts full and overflowing. Did I say that I can’t wait ?

 That’s how I felt today when I realized that the man who shot his wife and then himself on Garrison rd, the other day, had a twelve year old daughter that goes to Adam’s school. Gutted. Shattered. Middle school is so hard, how will she get up every day ? What if she doesn’t know her heavenly Father, her ABBA…..my heart is just so broken over this. I have a hope and a future, but does this little girl know that she does too ?? How will she find out how much she is worth ? The enemies fingerprints are left all over this. Lives lost, and hearts broken, spirits mangled beyond recognition. I don’t know what I can do , other than intercede, so, thats what I will do. Please come with me, stand with me, pray with me. I think her name is Katlyn. She is 12, just a girl……write it down, put it on your phone, lets cover her with the bright wings of love and peace. HE  holds her in his hands, whether she knows it or not. Pray for the light to overtake the darkness that has to be creeping in on her. right now. urgently.

 And I LOVE it, every minute of it. Fifteen years ago today, I woke up, and thought to myself, “self, you’re getting MARRIED today! ” Well, there was a slight doubt that Thomas would show up, since he had told his brother to lock him in the trunk of his car if  he ever tried to get married again. ha ! You can’t stop love.  And love it was. I knew that from one of our first dates. We hopped in the car, unplanned, and unscheduled, and drove down to Folly Beach. I just listened while he talked, and the more he talked, the more I fell in love. I saw his hands on that steering wheel, and I just knew…those were the hands that I wanted to hold for the rest of my life. What I didn’t know about those hands was that they would steady me, whenever I was shaky, and they would some day hold our babies tenderly, and build homes for us, and rub my feet whenever sports are on tv. I didn’t know the future, but I KNEW that I was in love.

                    Love is the greatest commandment. I didn’t understand it fully fifteen years ago, I am getting there now. Love wants the best for you, and love protects you. Love overestimates your abilities….and BELIEVES in you. Love lets you be sick, if you need to (still working on that one). Love makes your coffee in the morning, and turns off the fan, so that you can get out of the covers. Love sits in the bathroom, while you are in the tub, and listens to you ramble on about the same subject as long as you need to. Love dances with his daughters, and prays with his sons. Thank you for showing me love honey. I really would do it all over again, and again, and again. Happy Anniversary.

 Ok, maybe I am in the twilight zone over here, but it seems like all I hear from the mothers out there is….how much housework they got done today, or what marvelous homeade dish they are making for dinner, oh yeah, and don’t forget the arts and crafts that their children had time to do…..uuuugh. Bad night here. I have actually put myself in time out. So I won’t say any ugly things to my children, with whom, I am in love…most of the time. Not really tonight. Just once I would like to look at facebook and have THIS be the status quo…., “woke up late , gave the kids dry cereal  for breakfast(we are out of milk),yelled at them for not making their beds…for the millionth day in a row, said hell in front of them, as in , ” what the hell were you thinking when you put clay in the carpet ???” And then I drove them to school, prayed in the carline, not for wisdom, but for forgiveness of my motherly sins. Exhaled deeply, grateful that they were in a safe place. Came home, didn’t get laundry done, or make a homeade pie…spent the day cleaning up doggie diarreah…then picked them up from school, happy to see them, until they begin to fight about who had the better day, and whose spelling words were hardest….forgot about homework, let them play outside til dark, didn’t give them a bath…ordered pizza….put them to bed, ahhhhh sleeping peace. ” , I mean, could I possibly be the only one of my kind ?

           No offense to all you DO IT ALL MOMS out there, I applaud you, and am in awe of you….although, I have to admit, sometimes I wonder if you are for real (like the toothfairy). goodnight. I feel better already.