Where my trust is without borders…..

 

 

 

 

 We all know the words to this song, it’s beautiful, and I sing it with a strong determination to do those things that are out of my comfort zone. For the past few days I’ve been praying for not so little lion boy. Actually , I should write a book titled just that…prayers for my little lion boy. It’s a subject that I know well, I am good at it, I have years of experience. But today there was something new. I asked for help from my spirit, help me pray, help me ask…show me how to move God’s heart with compassion for me and for my son. And then I heard that familiar song. And a new prayer started to fill up my spirit.

 You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail

You made me this child’s mommy, an adventure that I could not have fore seen, or dreamed….I may not succeed, and I’m scared.

And there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep , my faith will stand.

I get down as low as I can, on my face…questions, and pleas for this family, this little guy of mine. And its in those time that I find you, in those desperate, low as I can get…. moments, you give strength to look in the face of faith, and grab it even.

And I will call upon your name, and keep my eyes above the waves, when oceans rise…my soul will rest in your embrace, I am yours, and you are mine.

Just saying your name is the step forward that I need to take, and suddenly I can see beyond the hateful words, and the spitting in anger, the boy wrapped in the blanket under my desk is yours, the same as I am. Your arms are here for both us.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters, your sovereign hand will be my guide, where feet may fail, and fear surrounds me…You’ve never failed, and you won’t start now.

The gift of freedom is mine, and I find it when I am over my head, out of my own understanding. You always answer me, you guide me with wisdom that I can’t pretend to grasp…you speak directly to my spirit when I can’t see the promise of hope. I beat myself up, and you comfort. You have never forgotten, or forsaken me or my little lion boy. We are scared, but sure in the extravagance of your love for us. You are steadfast.

Lead me where my trust is without borders

Help me to see my way through, when love is hidden from sight, and anger and hurt are the headlights in the night….help me to speak kindness, when none is being spoken to me. Help me to trust even when the ground I’m standing on is crumbling. When my soul is being torn to shreds, help me to reach out beyond my borders to hold his hand. I am your daughter, and I am his mother….I am yours, and he is yours. We belong to you, treasures to be mended. I pray that you are moved to intercede for my family, and so many others. Lead us into the terrain, the deep waters, the magic woods, that are our children…and as we call you, show us which path to take.

                                                                                                                                                                                      Amen

 

Around the world…

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  It was a slow come back today. Spring break was wonderful, and tiring ! I told Isaiah last night that I wanted the two of us to snuggle our way into this Monday morning. And so we did. He got in bed with me, and we lounged, we rubbed feet, and talked about Spring break. We got up, we eased on into coffee and waffles, and started school. It was slow going but good. I had every intention of going to work in my office after I had done the instruction part of our day. I really did. But then, it was beautiful, and we took the dogs for a long walk….obviously, I needed a shower after that. As I came down ready to face the next part of my day, I heard the thump   thump   thump   that means my son is taking a break from his work to play basketball. Yeah, I had two choices …get mad that he was playing, or get holier and join him.  I walked outside, and he started explaining the game around the world. I watched for a minute, and then he said ” Wanna play? “…  Why yes, yes I do !! He was surprised, and tickled.  He encouraged me on the hardest shots, and gave me pointers, he made me feel better when I missed, he showed me great empathy, and then when I beat him, he cheered, and was so happy for me, went so far as to say maybe I should play women’s basketball. ( I am 5’3 on a good day) My son looked at me and said, you are awesome, I can’t think of another mom that would come outside and play basketball, not just one game but two. Then he hugged me, kissed me, and thanked me. That’s not everyday, but that was today. I never made it to work, I went around the world with Isaiah instead.

Tribute.

          Isaiah’s birthday was yesterday. I know, I’m a day late. It’s been that kind of week. Better later than never. I looked back over the past several years worth of blogs on here, and I realized that what I have been doing is writing a tribute to each kid on their birthday. It’s a fine idea, but I am committing to write tributes to them more often, and not just on special occasions. And so onto todays tribute. Isaiah. What can be said that hasn’t been said before ? You are spectacular. This year I learned that you are a GREAT dancer, one might even call you a …romancer. This year I learned that you care when someone is suffering, and that you know how to intercede and pray. I covet your prayers, and I treasure them.  This year I saw you do things that took such strength, and I was reminded about your spirit man. That he is massive, that he is a roaring lion. When you close your eyes, and I see that fringe of eyelash, that is so thick it looks like fur…. and I say to myself…I recognize you little lion boy. I love you. I admire you. I bless your spirit with the kind of joy that makes you strong, and the kind of peace that does not come from this world, but from deep inside. Happy Birthday .Image