Around here, there is no such thing as starting the new year slowly, or taking it easy. Isaiah will be 9 on wednesday, so that always plunges us right in to the new year ! We go straight from Christmas lazy, into birthday mode. So, we will do a family thing on his birthday, and then skating with friends on saturday. Should be fun. I could sit around and complain about my baby being 9, but I just feel so damn blessed, that I won’t. I love this new year. I am awake, and taking notice of things. Finally. Feels good.

             I am busy with Lia sophia, its clearance month, and I have quite a few shows. I am pushing myself and doing things that I never thought I would, its a good start. I am drinking hot tea in a quiet house right now, but before I know it, I will be out in the cold afternoon….driving carpool. Glorious.

 So, I have been thinking this over, talking to friends about it, and I believe I have come to a conclusion. Actually, it seems pretty obvoius in a duh, kind of way. New years resolutions should be tri-fold. A physical resolution, a mental resolution, and a spiritual resolution. Now each one of these will most likely have more than one part. For example, my physical resolution is to take my vitamins, and drink water….seems simple, but has proven hard in years gone by. My mental resolution….have more fun, ALLOW myself time for fun, less self isolation. And of course, last , but not least , my spiritual resolution…read the WHOLE Bible this year, that is under way…but also to allow my love for the Lord to overflow into a love for people, there is plenty more, but this should keep me busy for a while. The trifecta, the triple threat….I like it.

 Last year we went to Charlotte for New Years Eve. We had a plan sit with our dearest friends around their firepit, and let the old year fade away, and the good times roll in. We did just that. Steven got me so pumped up with his 2010 speech, that I was ACTUALLY looking forward to the new year ! I am usually grieving the old one, but in this case, I was ready to let it go. I cannot believe that has been a year. The fastest one yet. What if they don’t slow down, how will I keep up ? This year is at our house, and we are looking forward to seeing if Stev-o has his motivational speech ready. whoo hoo !  Oh yeah, this is what I learned from Erin, my bestie…..NEVER, never jump on a trampoline at the stroke of midnight, with your hands in your pockets. I have learned other things too, but so far, this little tid bit has proven the most useful, and…hilarious.

Just when I thought Christmas was over…..I bought Adam a set of 4 books, because he LOVES to read. We have a hard time finding things that are appropriate for a 13 year old who is on college level reading. Its a dilemma, but back to the story at hand. When he opened the books on Christmas, he was happy that I had thought of him, but sadly had already read the books. FAIL.  Oh well. So, last night our lovely neighbor was heading out to the book store ,and invited Adm, he jumped at the chance, and grabbed his gift to exchange when he got there. What do you think he came home with ? A gift wrapped up for me ! He had been really sad that he didn’t have his own money to buy me something, I know thats ridiculous, but thats just the way he is. So, he exchanged that set of books, and instead of getting himself a brand new book….he got me one.

                        He continues to break my heart wide open with his love for me. And reveals more of the FATHER to me than I ever could have imagined. Between my husband, and my sons….I have seen the Fathers love, I am blessed and bewildered by the whole dang thing.

                             Lest you think that I have forgotten Isabelle….I have not she e-mailed me a poem yesterday while I was in the shower. She is thoughtful, without giving it a thought…she is my split-apart, the jewel in my crown. The Father’s love for me revealed…yet again. What a sense of humor he has…..

Thinking about this hair for the new year. What do you think ? Really ?

  Thinking a lot  about new things coming.  Feel like a change is in order. Been doing the same thing for so long….out of habit. Ready for the fresh air of newness.

Isabelle got terribly sick on saturday. The worst part is waiting to see if any of the rest of us are going to get it. The BEST part was cuddling her, and staying in bed with her ALL DAY LONG. HE really does make beautiful things out of our earthly less than beautifulness.  Hmmmmm. In other news, we are lounging, and enoying our Christmas break. Eating, watching t.v, and staring at our beautiful tree ! peace to you.

• talking back, mostly from my children
• lady gaga
• people posting things on facebook for attention, for example,”I’m so mad”….don’t we all know that they are trying to get us to ask???? Why not just post what it is you are mad about….
• people who are out of touch with ANY sort of reality
• falseness, which goes along with the previous peave…
• teenage cleavage…yes, there may be some jealousy involved, but the point is….I can see her @#$% , but where is her heart ? And her Daddy.
• pms….obviously.
• disney channel….so guilty for making sitcoms about teenagers and aiming them at 10 year olds.
• people that can’t have a conversation about anything other than themselves. It gets boring.

last night I had a dream. In my dream Isabelle was pregnant. She is 10 . I was so upset, and I kept asking “who did this to you”?  She just looked at me , wide eyed, and innocent, and said, “no one”. I began to pace , in my dream, and I felt the weight of this situation on my shoulders. What would the neighbors think, and what about the my little girl ? I was upset, I was sad, and I was engulfed by the fear of man. Thankfully….I woke up. At first I thought I had a nightmare, and I wanted to forget it as quick as possible, but upon further diving in, I believe the dream was about….MARY. The mother of Jesus, yeah, thats the one.  I think the dream was about a young girl, who carried, not just a blessed baby inside of her, but the weight of the world ON her. What did her mother say ? How could she had known that she was raising, a girl, a woman, that would be chosen by God , to bring his son into the world. How did God pick her ? What skills did she possess that made her the front runner, or was it simply …her destiny since before time began ? I don’t know. What I do know is that she was strong, and she was faithful, she was selfless, and yet…a woman , not so different from any one of us. She loved her baby, she took pleasure in his fat baby hands, and she waited. When I hear the song , MARY DID YOU KNOW , it sort of bugs me. Because I think, who was she, that she wouldn’t have known ? She knew. And she waited. She watched him grow from a skinny adolescent, into a strong young man. She knew. I am certain of it. And yet, she was willing. She was amazing, and I love her. She is the mother of my King, and I will never forget her, or her sacrifice.

                The dream was so weird, but I am thankful that the Lord brought Mary to my mind’s eye. I don’t think I will be the same again.

 I need a fire. Or an ocean. Something to gaze at, that is bigger than me. Something that KNOWS GOD in such an organic way, that it knows all of the answers without asking the questions. And then I could stare at it for hours, and let the mysteries of life start to unfold before me.

                                    you are a mystery to me, and today I cannot see….just what it is you see in me.

                                      rolling and crashing, I will be pulled under willingly…

                                     you are a mystery to me, and today, the love You hold … whispers to me.

                                      It burns hotter than a fire, and leaves its mark on my soul…..

                                     you are a mystery to me, and today, your beating heart…is my melody.