There is a vision that I’ve had for so long, that it is in fact so covered with dust that I had to put on a mask just to write about it.

                    Here is the problem, its been in the closet for so long that I nearly forgot it was the Lord who gave it to me. I accepted it, and I took a lovely piece of pride and wrapped it up. That was not quite enough protection for this vision, so I added layer after layer of fear, until you could not see or hear the vision anymore.

                     I am so sorry Lord, I let fear be my king

                     you are the author, the owner of every single thing

                    And so, this thing that I’ve been keeping for myself

                    I lay it down right now, I lay it down right now

                     So glad that I can see, with out you….its no good to me.

I have always known I was a strong-willed person. I have considered this one of my less than attractive traits…..until now. God created my will. Its as if there is a dial 1 to 10 and for each of us, he chooses where to set it. He knew me before he created me in my mothers womb, he knew the obstacles I would face, the trials and the triumphs. HE CREATED MY WILL. And he set it just right.

                          He did not want my decisions and affections based on obedience, but on friendship with him. I have done things out of obedience to God for a lot of years, but not now. I make choices now with our relationship in mind. I am making an effort to be consumed by him and that changes the way I think.

                                   God knows the good, the bad, and the ugly about me. And so, when I ,the strong-willed, selfish, scared little girl that he knows so well….turns to him out of love and love alone, IT MOVES HIS HEART and CHANGES HIS MIND.

we are home from the beach. ahhhh. I know it sounds crazy, but we are happy to be back. Our kids are at the age where they can body surf and jump waves all day long, we all need a rest from our vacation.It was nice, Isaiah caught his first fish ! Thomas told him that ,for luck, fishermen kiss their catch. So, naturally Isaiah kissed his fish right on the lips !! very exciting stuff.

                     I want to give a shout out to Isabelle my 8 year old. She sees me writing all the time, and I believe she too, has been bitten by the bug. So today, instead of my stuff, here is hers. (just the way it was given to me)

                                     jesus

                         you pertect me….so

                        we praise you, we dance for you

                        we sing for you, we jump for you

                      we twirl for you

                            we pray to you, we listen to you

                     we are happy when your there

                    we are never are afraid when your with us……..isabelle wirthlin

Today is 14 years since my first date with Thomas. I was 20 years old ! That seems impossible. Thomas was/is so charming. I fell hard from the very start. Somehow  I just did not see how I could live without this arrogant, funny, smart man with the worlds best legs. He still has the best legs, and he is strong enough to carry me around(if that is ever necessary).

             Seriously….we have both grown up so much, and now we share 4 kids..crazy. The wonderful thing is, we love being mommy and daddy, but even more than that, when we are alone, we are still thomas and angie….2 people that love being together.It just keeps getting better.

Yesterday I wrote that I had to own who I was, in order to disown who I was….in continuation of that, I have more to say.

                        I gave up who I used to be, I made vows to the Lord….I took his name, there is no going back. There is nothing to go back to. There is only worship. Worship as a mother, a daughter, a sister, worship as a wife, worship as a way of life.

                                  On sunday mornings I may dance around and shout out the name “yeshua!”, I can’t help it. He created my body for worship, and I physically long to worship him, just like I physically long for food, when I am hungry.I can’t break free of the way he loves me. God is good all the time.

How DOES he choose who to use ? Beats me. Someone once told me that I had great promise, and therefore there would be a great process. I am still in that process,learning all the way. For instance, I had to OWN who I was in order to DISOWN who I was. Are you following me ?

                             David was a murderer

                                Leah was ugly

                             jacob lied and manipulated

                           Jonah ran like a coward

                          Samson was a womanizer

                       Rahab was a whore

                        and last but not least….Lazarus was dead.

     HE USES WHO HE CHOOSES!!

                             turn me, burn me, change me, rearrange me

                              turn my gaze, turn my praise

                               choose me, use me

                              theres only you…..

     KIDS ARE SO AMAZING !!! Adam is always bored at school, he feels like it is a waste of his 10 almost 11 year old life. Seriously, he can feel his life slipping away from him while he sits in that classroom day after day. scary. Anyways…he came up with a great idea for a debate, to keep the boredom at bay, these last couple of days. He proposed to his teacher a debate on whether or not global warming is real. I was impressed from the get go. They have not completed the debate yet, but adam spent hours working on it last night. He has lots of scientific documentation that makes Al Gore look pretty foolish, but his main point is that in the bible GOD promised not to destroy the earth with water again !

                This was huge for me. I have been praying and hoping that my kids would not go backwards in their beliefs, now that they are in public school. Not only is he NOT going backwards, but he is CLINGING to the promises of GOD and is not ashamed .    Yipee !

                    Every generation has heroes…I believe my son Adam will be one for this generation. 

Some of you reading this had a true fairy tale courtship and wedding. You really understand the “bride” mentality. Well….I am having a hard time with it. Even as a bride, I did not get it. I just kept waiting for Thomas to realize that he was crazy, and change his mind about getting married. Pretty sad, huh ? God is doing something in me, he is restoring the bride mentality in my heart. He has talked to me all week long about this. He is walking me through the steps of preparing my heart in the natural for Thomas and in the spirit as the bride of christ !

          This is what he said this week ” I am the father of the bride, I am proud of you! I own the cattle on a thousand hills, and spoke creation into being…all I have is yours daughter !”

                                 I am really excited about this !! I believe it started on sunday when david walker spoke out about our destinys being revealed and restored. So thanks david, for following the spirit. And thank you daddy for reaching the deep places in me that are calling out to you even when I am unaware of it.