I have some experience in this area, I have moved 3 times in the last year. It has been exhausting, exciting, addictive, appalling, and wonderful.

             I was searching,and I found some of what I was looking for. But there has been a price, a sacrifice.All in all, I have learned a ton of stuff about myself.

                            JESUS,

                       I want to live in your neighborhood, I want to do the things that I should. I want to bend like a tree that will not break. I want to love and let live for your namesake.I want to shine like the sun through a broken sky,take up your cross and learn to fly.Come, says the spirit. Come, says the bride ! My flesh is fed, but not satisfied. Yeshua, I’m not satisfied.

Each person reading this is at home, in their own private world…dealing with something.

Why is it so hard to come together ? I do not have the answer, I am guilty of staying hidden behind the beautiful,craftsmen style front door of my house.

               I heard a song yesterday that really spoke to me. “Jesus is not a baby in a manger anymore, he’s not a broken man on the cross anymore, he did not stay in the grave and he will not stay in heaven…..HE IS COMING BACK…….HERE !! whooooooo !

              I need you LORD ! COME like you promised.

 My husband read this blog, he said ” you are really religious” He is right  ! I am, what else do I have ? I love you LORD, I trust you…..

There is nothing easy about parenthood. Once the precious child has been concieved, complications begin. You may have a lovely pregnancy, full of beauty and wonder….do not be fooled, that baby inside you is a person and they have a whole 9 months to start planning their attack on you, an attack that will last a lifetime !

                             Just kidding, sort of.

The point here is this: IT IS HARD ! Its one hard phase after the next, you keep thinking “aahh, when we get out of this phase everything will be great ” Just to find out, you are entering ANOTHER phase. But one day, you will put your child(aka the grouchy,gross, quarrelsome,sometimes smelly little person that lives with you ) to bed and he/she will say “can I sing tonight ?” And then miracle of all miracles a small, sweet voice sings over you”amazing grace, how sweet it sounds, it saved a wrench like me “and you will know, what I know. IT IS WORTH IT.

ps-Isn’t this exactly how Abba father sees us ?

I had the most wonderful answer to my prayer yesterday and a peaceful day with Isaiah. I have realized that my family is just a smaller version of the kingdom. I have the ability to change the atmosphere here. I hold the power.

           Each of my children have gifts, given to them, not by me, but by God. It is my job to recognize them and protect them from the enemy’s grasp.

Sidney(15) nurturing, the ability to see into peoples hearts at just the right time.

Adam(10) the militant spirit of Joshua, leader, and God trusts him with prophetic words for people

Isabelle(7) gifted woshipper, the ability to feel the Lords heart, his grief or joy for his children

Isaiah(6) the heart of a lion, the ability to shatter the enemy with his roar.

            I have been running for so long, pretending to be strong

            give me the will to say I’m weak

             give me the strength to be meek

            rise up in me ,Holy Spirit speak

             rise up in me, Holy Spirit speak

I woke up feeling desperate this morning, I just prayed but the word desperate continued to resound. I got out my handy websters dictionary and looked it up.

Desperate- reckless or dangerous because of despair or urgency.

That lead me to look up urgency.

Urgency- requiring immediate action, or attention.

Lord, I am reckless in my pursuit of you. I need your immediate attention today.Proverbs6:20 says “do not forsake the teaching of your mother ” Make me an effective mother. I am in desperate need of wisdom. Let my kids see me as a lunatic if it pleases you, but let them see that I KNOW you. In proverbs king solomon admits how much he has learned from his Mother. Right now I pray that you would restore the high calling of motherhood, to me and anyone else who is reading this. I know Isaiah’s destiny in you. He is the LION, help me to protect that and teach him how to stand on his own.

We are mothers, let us become like battle axes and break the nations apart if that is what it takes !!

someone told me once that all the crap in my life was making me fertile ground. Is that a compliment ? If that statement is true, I must be the deepest, darkest, richest soil there is !ha ha !

             thank you Lord for the crap, the loud home that comes with 4 children, the dirty dishes that come from a family meal, the mud that finds its way onto my floor after someone(isaiah) had to splash in the puddle. And Lord, thank you for the wrinkles that come with me still being ALIVE !!