Author Archives: angie wirthlin

updates…

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This will be short, and somewhat sweet. The last 7 weeks have flown, and dragged by at the same time. Wrap your head around that.  I had the longest cold of my life, which turned out to be 6 weeks of bronchitis.  Six weeks of trying to be well, six weeks of doing housework, traveling…doing my best to get on with it,  and then finally realizing ,  after chest x-rays that I just needed to sleep for several days if I wanted to be healthy.  So, I did.

My best friend moved to California.  That’s a biggie.  I wasn’t sad, handled the news quite well. The trouble with that…I was in shock.  I think I am coming to terms with it now. I knew that she was an adventurer when I chose to love her.  Now there are rivers, and roads between us, but that’s nothing.

Manchild started high school.  I got in the car after orientation and cried.  He thinks I am a lunatic.   I can confirm it….I am.  Sometimes, you catch a glimpse of how fast life moves, and it overwhelms you. I remember his first day of kindergarten.  Nothing has changed, he walked away from me, and waved.  He was fine.  Still is.

Isabelle is a seventh grader. I used to get so offended when my husband would say that I had used up all my words for the day. Now I understand.  Apparently, Isabelle is a mini-me. She has a lot of things to say. She brings me joy in the most frustrating , and beautiful way.  Okay, just got a phone call from a mom that I carpool with telling me how much she loves Isabelle.  Thank you Lord.  You are good.  She is a treasure.

Isaiah went back to school this year.  He is a fifth grader at a new school, and he is doing great ! It was his choice. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid.  But love is stronger than fear, and I love him so much that it makes me crazy.  His strength is amazing.  He is a mystery in so many ways.

We are all growing, and stretching.

Birthday Girl

Sidney is 20 today. I have known Sidney for 18 of those years. She has remained one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. She is strong. In an unnatural kind of way for someone so beautiful. Her life has been filled with emotional battles. If life were like the American Ninja course, she would would be named a great ninja…She jumps over obstacles, and fights her way through the tough stuff, sometimes hanging on only by her fingernails. She has weathered things that would take down your average run of the mill girl. But she is not average. This girl, this young woman that I’ve had the opportunity to live with, and learn from for all of these years. I tried to smother, and mother…and she pulled away. Once, I realized that all she wanted, or needed was my love…the world as we know it began to look different.

Happy Birthday Sidney. You are loved, and admired, and thought about, and prayed for….but mostly loved. Will you teach me how to be as brave as you one day ?

recipe for my liquid laundry soap

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Hello ! I said that I would post the recipe for the LIQUID laundry soap, and here it is :

1 bar of soap…your choice

1 cup of borax

1cup of washing soda

1 giant pot (big enough for 3 gallons)

3 empty gallon containers

So, here is the deal…I made 2 gallons, and it was too thick so I added water…from now on I will add it from the start.

Grate up the bar of soap and put it in the pot, add 1.5 gallons of warm water , let it dissolve over med heat.

Once the soap is dissolved add the cup of borax, and the cup of washing soda, then 1.5 gallons of cold water. Bring to a boil, and then remove from heat.  It will start to thicken. Pour into your containers via your funnel. I needed help with this step because the pot was so big !

The next day it will be thicker, and more gel- like. I was afraid there would not be enough fragrance for me, so I added a fragrance booster to each load of laundry. Perfect !

laundry update !

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I did it ! I made the laundry detergent. I had some moments of doubt…was it thick enough , was it the right color ? Anyways, while I was otherwise occupied cooking my soap (I know you are laughing about this Erin Littleson), the neglected, ignored dog…Ava…peed on my laundry room floor. Yes, right in front of the doggie door. Why ? It could have been the rain, I digress. I cleaned the mess with a towel, the perfect specimen to test my detergent ! I washed the towel with my crafty soap, added a little bleach, and…..IT WORKS ! I am so happy about the fact that I made 2 gallons of detergent. Okay, I will post the recipe later.

adventure.

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Okay, so maybe this is not your kind of adventure, but for me…this is big. I’m going to make my own laundry detergent today ! Estimated cost 6.00 for about 500 loads ! This will allow me to not feel so bad about the $$ I like to spend on skincare. I will keep you posted on whether it’s a success, or a failure . So, here we go…Rosie tries to make soap.

weather.

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wow. Really raining here. Big drops, with a soundtrack of thunder. We need it. In a literal sense, and in a spiritual sense. I have been sick for days, and Thomas has had a migraine every day, for four days. We need that washed away. Gone with the dry, and brittle…in with the lush, and life filled. Peace like a river comes to mind as I look out, Imageand see the water flowing down the drive. Peace like a river, I need you, I invite you, I welcome you in. Into my mind, my husband, and into my heart.

Test = Rant= WARNING !

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Really ? If I make a claim…like – I love you, I am not judging you…..the testing begins….as if it’s on some kind of autopilot. It is simple for me to love all kinds of things.  But when it comes to my kids, how do I get them to understand that I can HATE their actions, and love them all the while ?  Are we allowed to judge actions ?  To say- hey that’s wrong, you need to turn,  and walk away from that as fast as you can…or am I supposed to be love and peace, and ignorant bliss all the time ?  I feel like I am on a roller coaster, and not a fun one. My stomach just dropped, and I can’t seem to get it back.

So to all of you moms, who say how much you are annoyed by older moms saying – enjoy every minute ! Ha, what we mean is – you can’t see around corners, so enjoy the physical tiredness that comes with chasing, and diapering, playing store, and car trip chaos. Getting up with your kids in the middle of the night means knowing where your kids are at night.  So try your best to enjoy the terrible twos, and thrilling threes….It’s hard in every stage, but only an older mom has the experience to tell you that,  so don’t begrudge her advice.  And if she repeats herself chalk it up to the MENTAL exhaustion that comes from having teenagers. Thats all.

I’m handling this latest test the best way I can….love is not smooth like a river stone, it is jagged, and rough.  So, thats how I feel today. Jagged, and rough.

child of my heart, (and whom it may concern)

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dear whomever (i don’t know if that’s a word),

I owe you, and you, and you…and most likely you, an apology.  I am so sorry for my judgement.  Who do I think I am…right ? No, it’s not like that at all.  My judgement comes from a giant, humongous place of fear.  Fear that you will know the kind of shame, and hurt, and heartbreak that I have known. Through the years, this fear has overpowered everything. Even my trust that God has all of us in his hand.  Fear overpowered my love. How is that possible if perfect love casts out fear ? Because of the power I gave to the fear.  I called it’s name…love.  I am shattered about this, but overjoyed at the realization that every day is new.   I am new.  It was my own shame that I wore like a garment that weighed me down, and in my desire for you to NEVER wear it… I covered you in it.  Again, and again…I’m sorry.  I’ve spent the morning in negotiations with my papa about how to handle this.  He agreed to this post, but only if it included some specific things.  Here they are…..  First, you are beautiful, and funny, you are a princess, and I’m sorry I never told you that.  Second, you are smart, and you are strong. I am hoping that you are strong enough to forgive. And last, and most importantly….I love you, and nothing could make me stop. There is no thing, or feeling that you have, or have had that is foreign to me.  I have spent years walking down dark corridors, but I was always looking for light.  I know that you are too.  I am here. I am not going anywhere. Even in my moments of anger, I have prayed for you. Open up your heart, let that shield that you wear to protect yourself fall away, that is what I am doing even now. It is a new day. The gift of daylight comes without fail, like a symbol of the mercy that starts over, and over, and over.  I was never disgusted by you, it was me, and my fear. I hope you understand. God is love, and he has forgiven me so much. Say you will too ?

No rose colored glasses here today.

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Woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  Loud boy, sassy girl, add one missing man child, and other annoying things, I refuse to mention, and what do you get ? Quite a mood. Invited a friend to Parkour class, met them there, just to find out … no class today. Keep it together, everything is fine. All is well with me, and mine. Come in to find the dog (who was groomed yesterday !) in the yard rolling in something that smells like, well lets just be honest… death, somehow all the kids get it on them, too.  Kids cleaned, and one dog bath later….just when I think, I’m going to get it together….BAM… another test. So aggravated. The jury is still out on whether or not, I’m going to make it through this day. Jesus or Carrie Underwood please take the wheel!!