Really ? If I make a claim…like – I love you, I am not judging you…..the testing begins….as if it’s on some kind of autopilot. It is simple for me to love all kinds of things. But when it comes to my kids, how do I get them to understand that I can HATE their actions, and love them all the while ? Are we allowed to judge actions ? To say- hey that’s wrong, you need to turn, and walk away from that as fast as you can…or am I supposed to be love and peace, and ignorant bliss all the time ? I feel like I am on a roller coaster, and not a fun one. My stomach just dropped, and I can’t seem to get it back.
So to all of you moms, who say how much you are annoyed by older moms saying – enjoy every minute ! Ha, what we mean is – you can’t see around corners, so enjoy the physical tiredness that comes with chasing, and diapering, playing store, and car trip chaos. Getting up with your kids in the middle of the night means knowing where your kids are at night. So try your best to enjoy the terrible twos, and thrilling threes….It’s hard in every stage, but only an older mom has the experience to tell you that, so don’t begrudge her advice. And if she repeats herself chalk it up to the MENTAL exhaustion that comes from having teenagers. Thats all.
I’m handling this latest test the best way I can….love is not smooth like a river stone, it is jagged, and rough. So, thats how I feel today. Jagged, and rough.
Amwirth.blog 
To the “enjoy every minute” grandmas, I say: “You didn’t enjoy every minute. Maybe you didn’t even enjoy having kids. You’re enjoying remembering having kids. That’s totally different. Oh, and this aisle is for EIGHT ITEMS OR LESS.” (because when I imagine being this mouthy, it’s always at the grocery store)
maybe when I am a grandma I will say to 40 year old moms…enjoy every minute of this hard as hell teenage into adult transition, someday you’ll miss it….Hmmmm.
Someone said to me yesterday ‘it’s ok not to like your 2 year old sometimes. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them’. It’s a beautiful, but tough, gig this mummy business!!
amen sister.
“You can’t see around corners”. I’m thankful for this.
There is no such thing as a, “bad kid”. The choices every kid makes are because they are trying to get some need met. Take a look at what they need, what are they missing, or what they are searching for. They may not understand the right way to get their needs met. All the children I have worked with have been told by their parents that they are, “making bad choices” but you have to take a step back and say…, “why? why are they making these choices..what are they trying to accomplish?” There is more there. Motivation is never negative. I doubt most people wake up and say to themselves, “I’m going to piss as many people off today and try to run my life into the ground!”
People are inherently good. It’s the skills they have learned from watching their parents and peers that steer them off track.
I agree with some of this. And never once in my rant did I say… Bad kid.
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@ Ann-Marie – respectfully, the majority of people are not inheritantly good: hence mass genocide, war and as your comment implies bad parenting which is the cliche excuse most young adults blame their unmet needs, wants and poor life choices. I admire your youthful optimism that there are no bad kids as stated but disagree. I was/am a bad kid. I have bad kids. We are all (bad) sinners saved by grace.
If your view is secular one day when you’re the parent of a bad kid and they lie, cheat or steal and you never showed them or taught them by example this will all make sense.
p.s. Are you a first year teacher, dss worker or nanny? Just guessing…
Angie,
I wasn’t trying to imply that your kids are bad or that you are a bad parent. I know the hard work you do and the amount of time and care you put into your children. I was just trying to give you a little support to know that it’s okay to keep searching for new tools and techniques to approaching a tough kid. You know I love your face.
On the other hand, to whoever Saint Stay At Home is, I don’t appreciate the condescending tone. Thanks for “admiring my youthful optimism” and letting me know that “one day this will all make sense.” It’s okay that I have a different view than you, and you don’t have to sound rude to try to make me look dumb and you look smart. It’s actually not a very becoming look to talk down to people.
Okay ladies, agree to disagree . As a parent it’s a bitter pill to swallow when someone says – maybe they learned that behavior from you . Ann-Marie, I love you too. And Saint, you have encouraged me on some of the darkest days.
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@ Angie — you are harmony, love and a sweet peacemaker
@ Ann-Marie — no offense or harm meant