This week I have spent a ton of time in the past. Remembering . What binds you to someone ? Its not your marriage contract. That much I know.  So…what is it ? I’ve come up with some of the ties that I think bind you to another person, whether friend, or spouse….

•                  KNOWING , and being Known. Inside, deeply….in the way that is raw, sometimes ugly, but always real.
• CRYING, sounds funny, but the relationships that I want to hang on to are the ones that I have with people that I can cry with. And that means Thomas…I get this look about me, and he just knows ( back to the knowing ), and he holds me. He doesnt try to make it right, just holds me. Same goes for my best friend Erin. We see each other, and we cry. We are past the point of trying to hold it back. It’s way too late for that.
• LAUGHTER. Yes !  I need it so much, who knew. It keeps me together. And in every relationship it is so valuable…ecspecially with your kids.
• PASSION. You better believe that this is a tie that will bind, your marriage will not be successful without it. It might last, but I don’t think you will be able to look back, and call it a success without passion. Husbands and Wives – HOLD ONTO EACH OTHER, late at night, and early in the morning.
• FORGIVENESS. The hardest one. Let go of hurtful words, wasted years…..move on. No one is perfect.
• DANCING. Do it. Sway in the kitchen, go to a party….remember that you are alive. Your kids will benefit from seeing you dance, I promise.

REMEMBER. Look back. Think about when, and how your love affair started. Remember the details, feel the butterflies. This is a great tool for those of you, like me, who have been married for a while. I think back to riding in the car with my husband, his strong hands on the steering wheel, and I am reminded that I thought…I don’t want this story to end, this night to end….this man holds my world in his hands. And now, after 18 years, I forget that feeling….thats why God created memories.

You can cut the ties that bind, or you can make them stronger. My history is rich. It is wild, and wooly. Funny, and sad…..it is full. My history has created a future. And I am in love…still.