I dreamed last night that I sold my house to Paula Deen, so being the hospitable person that she is….she invited me over for a Christmas party. There was every kind of food imagineable, catfish, shrimp-n-grits, steak. There were 2 kitchens and a bar. I was just picking out a miniature pie shell with some kind of shrimp and spinach when Thomas woke me up ! I hate that.

First of all , I am tired of being in adolescence with God. Throwing temper tantrums, mood swings, and the jealousy I feel whenever God is paying attention to someone other than me. I’m just too old for that, and frankly, I am not the only one . I think God is too. He keeps giving me tests, and trying to pull me into adulthood with him, but just like my teenager……I take 3 steps forward and two steps back. aargh !

         Second, when did the world start spinning so fast that when you don’t feel good, no one has time to give you a cup of chicken soup ??

                    I woke up wrong, wrote this song, watched t.v. for way too long,but hey I know you love me still.

                I know all about good intentions, they lead me around like bad directions, I know what I should do, just give it up and lean on you.

              I’m scaping the dirt of this day from under my fingernails, saying goodbye to the times I’ve failed….and hey, you love me still.

                             you love me still, you love me soft, you love me sweet, you love me lost, you love me fiercely,you never count the cost.

For months now, I take my kids to school( with the exception of Isaiah),and I watch the kids walking in and walking out. I sit in the car and wonder, actually I LAMENT !”why can’t Isaiah just be normal?”

                       What is wrong with me ?? Why would I want a normal kid ??

                          Isaiah is funny and smart and charming, he loves God, he loves dogs, but most of all he loves ME ! Even with all of my oddities and hang-ups, he loves me. My son might not be like all the other so called normal kids, and that can be hard at times, but hey…he hasn’t been on this planet for that long. Maybe he just hasn’t adjusted to the culture yet. Maybe, if I am very lucky, he never will.

                                      Cowboy butterfly

                          rough and soft

                                     tough and sweet

                        wings, but also feet

                                   down in the dirt

                       and up in the sky

                              my beautiful cowboy butterfly

• fountain cokes
• kid’s knock knock jokes
• fresh sheets to sleep in
• kids right out of the bath
• the bachelor (sue me….I’m human)
• my husband’s hair
• getting my back scratched
• hiking

I love spontaneous worship too ! Last night, I put Isaiah into my bath tub, turned on my favorite song, and before I knew it, the LORD had slipped into the room, too. It was awesome.

As anyone who reads this knows…I love to write. And I get lots of lyrics, but what I need is a melody. So if you see anything here that sparks a melody, or tune in you, let me know.

                      I am storing up what God gives me, but I know he wants more.

Not much to report, we enjoyed Easter weekend with family and friends. The children all over-dosed on candy, we celebrated to the hilt. Now I am being lazy and enjoying spring break. Sleeping late, not getting dressed, its nice.

I love today. The weather is perfect, its a perfect opening day for spring. Both of my little boys smell like sweat and dirt ! That perfect mixture you get from playing basketball and riding bikes.

I decided not to spend the day quiet and sad, not because I don’t want to think about Jesus’ death, but because of his LIFE ! I am feeling celebratory…I won’t deny it, won’t be quiet about it and don’t think I will regret it.

                       Thank you jesus, its not just Good Friday….its the perfect friday.

Do I love coffee ? OR, do I love wrapping my hands around a warm cup and sipping slowly until I am awake and aware enough to drag my children into the car to go to school ?don’t know.

Do I love GOD, or do I love the way he picks me up off the dirty ground, breathes new life into me and holds me up until I can stand on my own ?

I love him, for those reasons and more.Right now, I am having a revival of love for him, a renewal of vows.He is everything I want and more than I can hold.

              I am going to read the easter story to the kids this weekend, I hope his love shines through me and leaps off the pages and into their hearts. I am going to tell them that they were MADE FOR MORE than easter baskets. And on sat night, I will fill their baskets with all the good stuff I know they love, cause thats what God does for me. Over and over again.