This morning on the way to Glam, the Lord was in the car with me. He was watching me, encouraging me, tickling me and in general sprinkling me with joy. Oh, how I enjoy his affection. Its better than anything else that I know…

                 Anyways, I felt like today was a fresh start for Glam, the Lord said to ” repossess it.” And so, I did. Lisa (our lovely manager) confirmed it when she came in ! And so we bagan to pray and offer up all we have…it was good. So be prepared if you visit Glam looking for a new top, or jacket, you just might get more than you bargain for. There is a fresh wind blowing through this place.

Repossession- to take ownership of again.

                     I can’t think of anything better, or more painful to ones self. Lord, please, take ownership of me again today and tonight and tomorrow….on and on, until it is done. I recently heard (read) someone say “good is the enemy of great”. I agree. I am good at some things, I want to be great, but I get discouraged. I KNOW, there is greatness in all of us. If I let Him take ownership again, IT IS BOUND TO COME OUT ! The greatness in me was designed for HIS purpose, I am his muse and he is mine.Peace.

 Am I a runner ? Do I run away from things, or am I simply nomadic ? Is that so bad ? Am I always looking for something better? The Butcher and I have moved so many times in our marriage, its really funny. I am feeling it again. Wanderlust.

        PS. Joy is on me today, I hope it gets on you too.

               Fourteen years ago today, I married Thomas. The day itself, was not perfect. It was stressful and filled with surprises, pretty much like our life. The joy of that day far outweighed anything else that I was feeling. It was as if I had a secret from the rest of the world, and I could not stop smiling. Thomas was and still is my best friend. He is my family. Sometimes, I can’t believe the way that God has knit us together, it doesn’t seem fair to the rest of the world.

                                    We were not cinderella and the prince, thats for sure, nonetheless….our God is a redeemer and a restoration expert, and he has a happily ever after in store for us.

              Thomas was married when I met him. I am sorry, but I am forgiven. Thomas is a new creation ! I celebrate THAT in my heart more than the fact that we have been married 14 years, if the Lord had not redeemed him, we would not have made it. The odds were stacked against us from the start. It is a love story that is not easy to tell. We live with the consequences every day, but in the end, when all is said and done…we are FOUND, not lost. We know LOVE, and we know the cost. The Lord is our King and this marriage is our offering.

honey, I love you. When the Lord made you a new creation, he made you just right for me. You are gentle and strong at the same time. You show me the Father’s love through our children every day.

Is there a place for honesty ? Is my OPINION my truth ? What I have been finding lately, is that people(friends) ask me how I feel about something, and in the rare instance that I tell the truth…it changes our relationship. I don’t really think that people want the truth, and maybe they don’t need it.

                                 In some cases maybe the friendship wasn’t old enough or deep enough to handle a conflict ,and then you spill your truth into it, and it changes. It doesn’t have to end, but it won’t be the same. In other cases, the truth can stregnthen a relationship and give you something to build a future on. And then, there is the situation that is so vulnerable that you just don’t want to say your piece for fear of upsetting the balance of life as we know it.

                        The question that I am asking myself today “what is truth?”, and are there times that I should keep it to myself, even at the expense of my own heart ? I feel like I do that sometimes, and then it comes back to bite me in the donkey. AAHHH…so tired of this pity party. Has this post been weird enough for you ? Well, this is a blog and if I don’t say it here, where am I going to say it ? You deal with your issues and I will deal with mine.

                                I am blessed. I am blessed. I am loved. I am worthy of the blessings and the love. I am chanting.

Ok. So the truth is….THERE IS NO LIMIT TO YOUR LOVE. I denied you, and you love me still. I disobeyed you, and you love me still. I served other gods, and you love me still. I broke covenants, and you love me still. I let bitterness be my companion for years, and yet…you love me still. YOU LOVE ME STILL. YOU LOVE ME STRONG. There is no limit to your love my LORD. You hold me in the highest esteem, simply because, I am yours. And make no mistake, I AM YOURS. This heart bends, and beats for you alone.  I see you looking at me sometimes, with a look that breaks my selfish heart. Your desire for me so desperate, your patience so amazing.

     I knew from the moment that I saw the first preview for,” where the wild things are”, that we had to see it. There was a feeling that  this movie was something to do with Isaiah, and therefore, I had to see it. So we went yesterday, there was no school, and it was opening day…perfect.

                       It was an intense movie for kids. You could feel the main character’s fear of abandonment, right from the start. At the end of the first scene, Isaiah pulled my head down and whispered, “this is making me sad”. Yeah. It hurt me,too. I recognized my son and his pain and wondered, where this movie was going. Long story short…the point of the movie is that we all have fear, and lonliness, and sadness inside of us….but they don’t have to rule us, or define us.

                  I explained it to my kids like this, ” Love with all of your heart, don’t be afraid of not being loved back. Tell the fear to “be still”, and it has to. Everything will bow down to the Lord who lives in you. And if you are going to be a wild thing, then do it with all your might”. They liked that.

                You hold me up, when I can’t stand

              You clean my house, when I can’t move

                You drive me home, on a rainy night

               You show your face, when my backs against the wall

              You dress me up, and take me out, when no one else calls.

                 You lift my spirit , no matter how many times it falls.

             You let your love pour out, and down, until it reached the ground, and covered me and saved me.

                              What kind of love is this ?

Well, I feel like I should talk about the Butcher today. I am sitting here drinking coffee that he ground for me yesterday. Yes, he has a coffee company now. Its really good. I had no idea the difference it would make to use FRESH, I thought I liked what I was using before.

                The Butcher is truly a visionary, a creative and fun husband. He works so hard trying to provide for us. He has created lots of different companies over our 14 years of marriage, but this one is my favorite ! I mean, if you don’t count BUNZY DOLLS, he made dolls for our kids that he thought he could sell. Not so much, but the memories that the kids have of their daddy sitting at the table hand sewing a doll for them will last forever ! OK. BlackAsscoffee.com, he is working so hard on it and believes in it so much. Its inspiring to me. I love it, and I love him. I drink the french vanilla blend normally, but on a cold rainy morning ,like today, I chose raging mule….come on little donkey, give me a kick in the pants !!

                                                      If you like coffee, TRY THIS. Support a local business. Its good stuff and I happen to love the man behind the mule. Have a great day, rain and all.

 Sometimes I feel like a refugee wearing a jcrew skirt. Know what I mean ? Like its together on the outside, but a hot mess on the inside….I am still working on my oprhan spirit. One of the worst things that I can think of would be to pass this on to my kids, so I am determined to displace this spirit, with one of sonship. I DON’T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE A REFUGEE.

                  I want to be free enough to do nothing but lay down in his presence and wake up his grace, free enough to see my reflection is his face, liberty with enough love to spare, to dance and sing and shine without a care. Yep, that sums it up. I am walking through it and finding out that His well does not run dry.