I am Hosea’s wife…

 I wanted to say WE are Hosea’s wife, but for the sake of politeness, I will say….I. I am Hosea’s wife, constantly walking away from the redeeming love offered to me. Maybe not in a big way, a literal way, and yet wandering….nonetheless. I want nothing more than to accept that I am forgiven, redeemed, lifted up, and set apart. And for the most part, I do. There is one area left to take authority over….my relationships with other women. I find it hard to give my heart in new friendships. I feel judged, and never quite like I measure up. I know that is not true, I know that I know that I know it, but sometimes I still feel it. And it makes me run and hide, bury my head, retreat to my own little world with my husband ,and kids who love me so well.

                      I am sick of it. Just now, when I wrote that sentence, the Lord gave me a picture of what it looks like when I injest what the enemy tells me. He showed me a baby bird, mouth open, waiting…and then a big black buzzard chewing up dead things and regurgitating it into the baby birds mouth. I know that wasn’t a pleasant picture, but its true. The things that I allow him to feed me make me sick. They don’t nourish, they drain. I have been on what seems like a journey that has lasted a lifetime, looking for and accepting the love of Abba. I know that I have found it, and now I am eagerly awaiting the time where I will change womens lives around me, where I will testify to what the Lord has shown me, where my heart can be an open book ,and theirs too. And we will all be lighter because of it. And so….if you are Hosea’s wife today, and you just can’t believe that after all you have done, and after how many times you have wandered away, redeeming love is there for you….I am here to say, it is….I am proof.

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