Almost Valentines Day. Sometimes I wish our story was typical, easier…sweeter. It’s not, it’s…EPIC. I love you. There is fire here, after all of these years, and all these tears…there is love. I still feel the way I did 15 years ago…swept away, like there is no one else for me….but you.
This year has been hard, maybe the hardest yet…inside I still feel 20 years old ,and I am still learning to let myself be loved. Who knew that it could take so long ? I still see the scarlet letter when I look in the mirror sometimes, and I let myself fall into the trap. My heart knows its not there….it’s just a shadow.
I always talk about REAL LOVE, well…this is it. It’s two people navigating together, its not smooth like a river stone, its jagged and faceted….beautiful and rare. I love you, but I want to love you better…love you like I love my own soul. You are and always have been my valentine.
I can so identify with what you said you struggle with feeling.
Sometimes I am so busy wishing for what I perceive as normal that I miss how awesome the story I am in is….and at the end I wouldn’t trade one single second of it for anyone else’s story. Besides, the more I know about people, the more I realize that there is no such thing as normal…
I think one of the enemy’s biggest tricks is to preoccupy us with shame so that we miss the depth of love that is possible. From the people around us…and certainly from the One who loves us before, during, and after all of our shit.
Just sayin’