Where do I even start ? I have been quiet, not because there is nothing to say, but because I can’t quite wrap my head around this reality show/sitcom, that is my life right now. The butcher has decided to open up a hot dog cart. Let it sink in…. I go back and forth from excited about the idea of simple hard work, and how it pays off, to being in disbelief that this is really happening. I love that he is adventurous and not afraid to try new things, and I am terrified that I will no longer KNOW how much money is coming in each month. I don’t want to be a bad wife. I want to be his cheerleader, but sometimes I get really afraid of not being able to give the kids what they want. Want, being the key word……soccer, tennis, and new shoes are just a few of the things that come to mind. Ok….I know, I am being silly, but this is my blog after all. Thats my prerogative.
On a slightly different subject…I am ok with Adam not going to private school. I am still looking at other options, but I know in my heart that Adam is good. And GOD is good….all the time. So there, some peace.
Back on my birthday, I really thought that the Lord was planting a seed, and telling me to start a womens lifegroup. Now, I am not so sure. I have lost the fire for that, I don’t feel equipped, and I am just not feeling it. That makes me sad. But, thats how it is.
We have not moved yet, haven’t even started packing. Like everything else, that is stuck in limbo. However, we have rented our house, so pretty soon we will HAVE to do SOMETHING. Whats up with that ?
I need to get a job, but I am picky, I have a list of things that I want, and I don’t feel free to start looking yet….just feels like I need to get some things settled first. We are trying to get 2 cheaper cars….one more thing to worry about. Things are uncomfortable around here, and thats not all bad, I see GOD working, I can feel it.
I know this feels like a self-indulgent whiny post, and it is, thats ok…..thats part of being honest, with myself, and with others.