broken open

There is a little girl that I know, who has been fighting cancer for 2 years…she is only 6. I don’t understand it, and I am not going to pretend that it doesn’t make me angry.

            On Monday, Isaiah refused to go to school(after months of doing it succesfully), Adam was sick in the bed with stomach issues, and I was on my couch asking the Lord to sort it out. Just then I hear rushing water upstairs, the toilet is overflowing, water 2 inches deep in the bathroom(i hate wet socks). I am getting towels, rushing around, sort of yelling in panic, when I hear something that sounds like the water is turned on at my kitchen sink…..its water coming out of my ceiling onto my couch, my blanket, my floor and my dog. At this point, it seems almost humorous. Almost. I finished that day with a trip to the dentist, just to find out that I have six, thats right, six, cavities. Top it all off with a huge fight with my husband the next day…AWESOME.

           None of that was really serious, but it felt like the world was caving in around me. The whole time, my best friend was having the most glorious spiritual time, she even had a word for me,The Lord said for me to come up higher. All I could think was ” how do I do that, when i’m falling into a pit ?”

                            Today as I lay on the couch with all the light off, shutting out all of the things that I did not want to face, my best friend texted me. Here is what she said “please pray that I won’t fall into the pit that is being prepared for me”. And so, the Lord spoke to me as I prayed for her, almost involuntarily, I prayed for me,too. That we would allow ourselves to be broken open, and filled with HIM. If you are reading this, know that even in despair the Lord uses you. All my love.

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