I went to youth group on Sunday night, curiosity, really. New guy, new thoughts, and I wanted to see what he had to say. Boy, was I in for a surprise when I started feeling this familiar tugging on my heart….conviction. He brought up the spiritual anorexic…the person who wants the Lord, craves him even, but despite that, is starving themselves….working out , giving out….without any fuel, no food, no bread of life. If that is you….you don’t crack the Bible open during the week, you don’t worship, you don’t talk to the Lord….you starve your soul. Your heart will give out, it can only take so much.
And then there is the spiritual bulemic. I identify with this, and feel a little ashamed of it. I binge. I binge on worship, on the word, on prayer….sometimes in private sometimes not….I want it all. I stuff it in…..until something happens that I don’t like, a trial, a struggle…..then I throw it all up. All that food, all that nutrition…gone, in comes the shame to take its place. Yeah, I said that. The first step in recovery is admitting that you have a problem. Somewhere along the way, I didn’t learn to trust my ABBA. I want to. I really do. My mission is to find a way, to eat smaller meals , all day long…and to keep them down, even when my life is not smooth sailing. The Lord is good and good for you. Its going to be day by day for a while. I am learning to trust him in the big and in the small, I am seeing that I don’t have to stuff myself to feel satisfied.
So, there….I took Matt’s words and feasted on them, I am letting them feed me today. I want to be a good example for my kids in all areas. Thanks Matt, you really brought it on Sunday. You are doing something right if you can reach the kids and the adults at the same time. Bravo !