My thought life….a dark comedy.

I am a big chicken. I am a big lover of baths. I do not take baths when no one else is home. Ever. I have an irrational fear of having an intruder come in on me while I am in my natural and most vulnerable state….The bath. The other night everyone went to the gym, it was night time, I was finished with the day, needless to say, I stayed home. And more than anything, I wanted to soak in the hottest , soapiest water that I could stand. Dilemma!! There’s no one else home, perfect time for a home invasion , right? Well, now you see how my mind works. I got my firearm out, racked and ready to roll. I laid it on my stack of fluffy white towels, and proceeded to draw my bath. Yes, I said draw my bath, it’s much better that way. I got in, laid back. Sat up , what was that? The noises were non stop. Not really. Just in my wet head. So I made a detailed plan. Got out and locked door, this would give me time to get my hand dry and on my weapon if I needed it. Then I realized, my intruder would be shot and crumpled in my tiny doorway…. How on earth would I step over him NAKED to get out of there?? Throw a towel over his face to shield his eyes, and run for it? Drape a towel over myself and run? I’m afraid there are just no good solutions. And no more baths when no one is home. You are welcome for this look inside my head.