wasted time

                   I woke up free, only I couldn’t see

                   so I walked around all day in chains that did not exsist.

                          who am I ? who am I to resist the power in the blood spilled for me ?

                        who am I ? who am I to resist the love in your face. offered so willingly ?

baby baby its a wild life (read both posts today)

                 mommy mommy ringing in my ear

                 mommy mommy is all I hear

       Hello morning…its a beautiful day, sun is shining, my

    breakfast on a tray …..Beep, beep, beep, beep….wake up!

            real life begins, wake up in the middle of a war zone

        one is on the cell phone, one has only one shoe on

    drink my coffee with my eyes closed, daydream about the way he proposed

        Funny…then reality wins.

           The dog needs to be let out

            too late, try not to shout @#%&#

       What was I talking about ??

     mommy mommy ringing in my ear, mommy mommy is all I hear

         now you’re calling, someones falling

        a dirty face with tearstained cheeks……

      can i clean this place, win this race, stand up straight

        reach home plate?????

         its bedtime baby, close your eyes

         this day’s been a hard, a compromise

 mommy mommy ringing in my ear, mommy mommy is all i hear

     sweet dreams, I love you so, sweet dreams my baby, GROW UP SLOW.

 For all you mommies out there, enjoy !!

new day

well….isaiah is at school, he did not fight or cry, he had a great attitude. he did not get out of the car on his own, he held on to the seat like a man jumping out of an airplane, BUT….daddy walked him inside and left him with the guidance counselor. I just got the call, he is fine and doing his work.  Baby steps.

             Baby steps are all I can manage, hold my hand, don’t leave me stranded

                what if I can’t keep up? what if I lag behind?

                 If I don’t stand up, how can I fall…..and then I hear you call

          “take a chance, learn to dance, follow me….follow me”

my own psalm

How far away will you let me go ?

How afraid will you let me be ?

Fear is my enemy, he is chasing me

He calls out to me in the day, wrestles me in the night

Lord please hold me, keep me in your sight.

 My eyes search you out, your voice, your wisdom, your light.

You push back the heavens until I am in clear view

 You answer cry, give me all of you.

 You never looked away, even in the darkest day

my spirit shines and sings praises to your name

I will dance, I will dance, I will dance , I will dance

 I will give hope a chance.

birth pains

Why are they called BIRTH pains, if they last forever ? I love you so much Erin, but watching you birth an adult is much more painful, than watching a sweet baby enter the world. There is more blood, more gore and more pain. I do believe, I have to, that there will be more joy, too.

  I wrote this a long time ago, but it is still relevant and its for all of us…mothers of infants,mothers of teens , and mothers of adults.(sorry its long)

                             perfect and lovely, formed inside, I kept on growing

                                      without even knowing, just who you would be

                            then it came, the day you would arrive…when will this pain subside?

I love you more than I ever knew I could love, a piece of heaven for me from above

                                 when you were three, we butted heads,you blazed your own trail

                                slept in your big boy bed. I’d say be careful, you’d roll your eyes

                            Where is my baby….the one with the big brown eyes ?

     I love you more than I ever knew I could love, a piece of heaven for me from above

                          At eight, you shine so bright and I’m still the love of your life

                          you tell me I’m beautiful and I’m still hopeful…things will never change

          In a flash, time has passed, you choose your friends over me, this hurts….

                 more than delivery…

  I love you more than I ever knew I could love, you hurt me more than I ever knew I could hurt….what is this tearing, tugging and pulling at my heart ? When will it end ?

                   When did it even start ?

Now you’re grown up and I can see, the man that came from inside me

       I love you more than I ever knew I could love, my piece of heaven just for me from above.

  Birthpains that came from the start…I’ll carry you always inside of my heart. I love you.

                         

call me

                   call me to your court, my king

                    I’ve been getting ready and now I’m waiting

                     so call me softly, call me love

                        call me softly, call me love

        others may try, but none can satisfy

                 call me softly, call me love

       find me where im broken, this place where I hide

            call me softly, call me love

         put your hand in mine, fingers entwined

          I want to feel your palm against my own

           yes my Lord, it feels like home

             it feels like home

new song

                    In the light of your face my addictions become convictions

                  I pick you up just to let you down

               whats my grace story….my spiritual inventory ?

            whats your reaction to my distraction ?

                 I wanna be gripped by you, stripped by you

                wanna take a chance and see it through with you

                I wanna be gripped by you, stripped by you

                wanna take a chance, be romanced by you

Theres a sound in my chest, a word you haven’t spoken yet

     my throat is dry and aching, I’ve been calling you

          soak me…..cover me…quench this thirst

        dried up…I know, I’m not the first

            to love you

                to call you

 

 I wanna be gripped  by you, stripped by you

wanna take a chance and see it through with you

bridge- I’ve looked mercy in the face, and I’ve walked in your grace

   I’ve stood in the desert, searching for my own place

   I’ve run miles and miles, just to end up at the truth

           that no other love will do, no other love will do

I wanna be gripped by you, sripped by you

         wanna take a chance  and see it through with you

       

open

           drag me back, pull me back to you

            forget what I said, when I cried and stayed in bed

               I was just living from my head

 I want to be easy to get to, Holy spirit, easy for you

   open my heart back up God, open my song

        living from my heart again, singing from my heart again

spend it all

              this bottle is broken and empty

         all that I hold dear, given without fear

           i’ll spend it all

      poured out on your feet, never tasted love this sweet

      the fragrance is rising, my heart is racing

        i’ll spend it all, i’ll spend it all

       dry you with my hair, dignity stripped bare

   just to hear your voice, a love with no choice

      i’ll spend it all, i’ll spend it all

because you’re worth it, you deserve it, and so i’ll pour it out on you, give my heart to you

              i’ll spend it all, i’ll spend it all

chosen

                     I have been chosen by you

                      perfected in your sight, revealed in your light

                     I have been chosen by you

                       you called my name,and then changed my name

                         with your voice, you took my shame

                       I have been chosen by you

                    wretched in my wickedness and lost in my wilderness

                      and now, set apart in your holiness

                      you knew me in my mothers womb

                       you reached out to me from your tomb

                     I have been chosen by you….

                      I am yours and you are mine

                          from the beginning, to the end of time

                     I am yours and you are mine