I woke up jolly this morning. It was a shock for my husband, and sadly, a departure from the norm. There was no explanation. Just felt lighter, loved, and peaceful. We all got ready for church, Belle was dancing this morning. Alll was going so well. Too well. Five minutes before time to leave there was a skirmish, a hiccup, a bump in the road. Isaiah had a full blown melt down. Needless to say, the state of my jolly was threatened. I took adam, and belle, and we went to church. Without Thomas, and Isaiah. I hate that, but it was not the end of the world. Got to church, and found out just where exactly, my jolly had come from !! The Lord doesn’t want me to feel weighed down every minute of my life, it is NOT his intention for me to walk around in a constant state of fear about my kids, and the choices that they are making. He wants me to CHOOSE LOVE, and that is making me jolly. Pretty simple. We’ll see, but so far my jolly has been more valuable to me than chocolate, so watch out…I’m guarding it with my life people. I am loved, and I have a song, one that is mine, and mine alone…it’s a little rough around the edges, and I am still working on resolving the dissonance, but…I am loved, so for now, I can just….relax.

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